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A strange but true bike arrest

Posted by on September 5th, 2006 at 9:52 am

strange but true bike arrest

[Who would have thought?]

Last Friday in Beaverton, just across the street from a Share the Road demonstration, there was a strange car/bike crash that I still can’t figure out.

When I first saw the scene, it looked pretty simple. An older lady sat flustered in her big Town Car while an adrenaline-pumped cyclist gathered his broken bike and began to call the cops to report the crash. I could not believe the irony.

I walked over to talk to the cyclist and he told me the lady turned right into him without even looking. It sounded completely plausible and I immediately believed his story.

I talked with him for several minutes and found out his name was Daniel Koch and that he had just gotten a job as a messenger in Portland and was in Beaverton visiting his mom in the hospital.

strange but true bike arrest

Koch, who apparently really loves Portland (see photo), fit the profile of a messenger to a tee and he was riding a fixed-gear bicycle with no hand brake, a detail that did not escape the cop.

Regardless, I assumed it was an obvious case of a motorist not looking over their shoulder and that everything would be handled fairly. So, when a cop rolled up to handle the situation I walked back across the street to the Share the Road demonstration.

After several minutes passed I noticed a few more cop cars pull up and I began to wonder why the cyclist was still being questioned; something just didn’t seem right. Then I heard someone say, “Oh my god, they’ve handcuffed the cyclist!”. Sure enough I looked up and Koch was being walked to the patrol car in handcuffs with a look of shocked disbelief in his eyes.

bike arrest

I quickly made my way over to the scene and asked what was going on. Koch said, “They’re arresting me for purposely running into that lady’s car!”

I was shocked to say the least and I let my emotions get the best of me in my questioning of the cops. How can you arrest him, I asked repeatedly. What about the driver? You plan on taking her away too?

All the cops told me was that Koch caused the crash by purposely running into the car. Given what I had heard and seen up to that point I was flabbergasted that they could arrive at that conclusion.

strange but true bike arrest

After Koch had been taken away, I spoke to Terry Nobbe who had seen the whole crash unfold. Terry was at the Share the Road demonstration and is also a League Certified Cycling Instructor. Nobbe told me that the car never moved out of its lane and that the cyclist did indeed run into her. He said it even looked as though he did it purposely. I couldn’t believe my ears.

Why would a cyclist intentionally run into a car? Was he trying to show off and then became embarrassed when he crashed, causing him to make up a lie about being run into to?

Eventually I spoke with the cops again. I first apologized for my skeptical and overly-emotional attitude during the arrest. The cop was very appreciative of my apology and we then had a constructive discussion.

Turns out they arrested Koch for disorderly conduct and intentionally ramming his bike into a car. Both are serious violations and based on evidence at the scene and testimony from a cyclist who saw the whole thing, I don’t blame them for arriving at that conclusion.

But there are still some things I can’t figure out: First, why did they have to handcuff the cyclist? My hunch is that he had outstanding warrants or some other offense they couldn’t tell us about. And then, why the heck would anyone purposely run their bike into a car? And most puzzling is if the kid had some prior warrants or offenses, why would he call the cops in the first place?

The whole thing is very strange. I’ve got Koch’s email address and the cop’s business card. I’ll follow up with them and update the post when I hear more.

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  • Fritz September 5, 2006 at 10:43 am

    The cyclist apparently has a rage issue, but whenever a motorist intentionally rams a cyclist or runs one off the road it’s always “no charges have been filed pending an investigation.”

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  • Dom September 5, 2006 at 10:52 am

    You dont have to have outstanding warrents for handcuffs. If you get arrested you get put in handcuffs…regardless of the offence.

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  • cb September 5, 2006 at 11:05 am

    i got hit, in my car, by a cyclist once back east. an older gentleman, in his 60s, he plowed into my passenger door while i was stopped at a light. i’d been stopped for a full minute, with five or six cars behind me — it’s not like i’d just screeched to a halt in front of him. he didn’t hit me hard, and there was no damage to his bike. still, police came, and a week later i got certified mail that he was suing me.

    enclosed were catalog pages for bike parts that “needed to be replaced as a result of the accident,” but as a cyclist myself, i can tell you that nothing on his bike was damaged, and the parts he was suing for were not the parts on his bike. he also sued me for time lost from his “consulting business” as a result of injuries suffered, even though he rode his bike home from the scene of the accident.

    my insurance company got involved. turned out the guy had a habit of doing this, and our collision was the sixth one he’d been involved in. still, my insurance company settled for something lower than the $10,000 he was suing me for rather than going to court, and my premiums went up. no wonder he continues to do it.

    it was a lesson to me about how some people can make a pretty good living beating the system, and how sometimes the system turns a blind eye even when they know someone is breaking the law.

    i figured it was a matter of time before karma caught up with him and he got clocked by a bus.

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  • Jonathan Maus September 5, 2006 at 11:38 am


    Like I mentioned, my hunch is that they ran the cyclist’s name and found something in addition to his “disorderly conduct.”

    No word on whether or not he’ll get a ticket for riding a fixed-gear bike without a brake.


    Thanks for that insight. If they cuffed him just for his crash into the car, I think that is way over the top. I’m going to reserve further judgement until I hear more official details.

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  • Dabby September 5, 2006 at 12:32 pm

    I really don’t think he is a messenger either by the way.
    I could be wrong, but I have never met him.
    Wouldn’t forget the mop if I saw it.

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  • Anonymous September 5, 2006 at 1:11 pm

    His knuckle tattoo IS IN SHARPIE.

    I am guessing fakenger too. He is trying too hard with the PBR headbadge. I would not be suprized if he just didn’t know how to stop his brakeless fixed gear.

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  • revphil September 5, 2006 at 1:15 pm

    it should be noted that eye witness testimony is often not reliable. More implasable is that a raging biker would break his bike running into a car, rather than swing a u-lock, for example.

    The facts of the case, what part of the car interacted with the bike should be more telling. If the bike ran into a car that was just waiting at a light the damage would likely be on the rear of the car. if the driver turned into the biker than the front or right side of the car would be damaged.

    check out the “Agent Smith” leaning into the picutre.

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  • BLDZR September 5, 2006 at 2:34 pm

    F’in new jacks…

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  • ben September 5, 2006 at 2:39 pm

    i don’t know man.

    his burton shirt and sideways belt doesn’t exactly scream “messenger” to me.


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  • ben September 5, 2006 at 2:41 pm

    i’m gonna venture to say that someone hired him to pose (badly) as one (*cough* pdx police *cough*), gave him a fixie, and told him to ram a car.

    thus creating bad press in these times of fixie cases in the news.

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  • Tiago September 5, 2006 at 2:43 pm

    Last Xmas a car intentionally hit a zoobomber in the middle of the road, the cops showed up and said that they couldn’t do anything because noone was sent to the hospital.


    To protect and to serve… whom from what?

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  • ben September 5, 2006 at 2:44 pm

    i kid, i kid!!!

    …..then again, ya never KNOW!

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  • Cecil September 5, 2006 at 2:56 pm

    “i’m gonna venture to say that someone hired him to pose (badly) as one . . . thus creating bad press in these times of fixie cases in the news.”

    Or maybe he’s exactly the kind of moron out there that gives the rest of the biking community a bad name. Jonathan, I for one would be interested to learn how it all pans out . . .

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  • Vigilante September 5, 2006 at 3:19 pm

    I don’t know what pisses me off more… car people who stereotype and look down on cyclists based on their appearance or bike people who stereotype and look down on cyclists because of their appearance. Probably the latter because they should know better. I don’t have any tattoos at all… and I don’t wear my jeans rolled up to the calf… and I hate those little cycling caps that everyone and their dog wears… how lame am I?

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  • TimmyC September 5, 2006 at 3:54 pm

    Thanks for explaining this situation, Jonathan. When I saw the photos on your flickr, I was immediately incensed, thinking it had to do with the recent court decision about fixies. Richard Masoner talked me down and pointed me at your description of what. What an odd story, and so strangely coincident to the Share The Road demo. Truly odd. Please keep us all updated. Thanks.

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  • Cecil September 5, 2006 at 3:56 pm

    “… and I don’t wear my jeans rolled up to the calf… … how lame am I?”

    I don’t know, but I bet you have bike grease on your jeans 😉

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  • RobCat September 5, 2006 at 4:07 pm

    Cecil said:

    “Or maybe he’s exactly the kind of moron out there that gives the rest of the biking community a bad name. Jonathan, I for one would be interested to learn how it all pans out . . .”

    +1! If it’s proven he did indeed ram the poor lady’s car, he should be treated as any other vandal. “Solidarity” be damned, it’s inadvisable to embrace zealots and/or opportunists simply because he/she rides a bike, and no amount of “but THEY” rhetoric makes their actions acceptable.

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  • Dabby September 5, 2006 at 4:16 pm

    I believe the real point is that does not appear to even be a messenger, and in saying he was is giving a worse rep. to a already tarnished profession, a profession that everyone relies on, whether they know it or not.
    The lady was stopped, and a charge of disorderly conduct and intentional ramming leads me to believe that he was chasing her down after she cut him off, and he rammed his crappy conversion into her car.
    Or maybe he just couldn’t stop.
    Or maybe he saw the dollar bill signs in his head, took his feet out of the toe clips, and let her fly…..
    Either way, this seems fishy to me for sure.

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  • Dabby September 5, 2006 at 4:28 pm

    I also must say that my beautiful track bike has a PBR headbadge made out of a sticker.
    Crap!! I better go pull it off of there stat!

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  • Gregg September 5, 2006 at 4:34 pm

    Sheesh, why don’t you all wait until we get some kind of official announcement instead of jumping to some far fetched conclusions? For all we know, he could have been on crack and they found his pipe. (which would explain the messenger-like behavior) -rimshot-

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  • dee September 5, 2006 at 4:46 pm

    I’ve never seen this guy in my life. copping the style of messengers is one thing. claiming to be one as your being put in a cop car is very lame. We have an negative image problem as it is. we certainly don’t need agro hippsters adding to it.

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  • organic brian September 5, 2006 at 5:39 pm

    An officer that I talked to about the incident told me “he rammed the car to get publicity for you guys” meaning the “Stand with Us” traffic safety action group. I thought it a very bizarre thing to say and explained that I’m sure there is no one in our group who would ram a car on purpose as a publicity stunt.

    I’m half-convinced the kid was put up to it by the police.

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  • jami September 5, 2006 at 6:33 pm

    i would say “be nice; his mother’s in the hospital,” but it’s tough to believe anything he said since he (apparently) lied to jonathan about why he rammed the gal’s car. and of course he can’t be a messenger because he has the wrong stickers.

    nice call on agent smith there, revphil.

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  • Gary September 5, 2006 at 10:03 pm

    Checked the jail log on the Washington County Website. It appears that he had an outstanding warrant for failure to appear and a prior false info charge out of Beaverton Muni court. He is still in custody.

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  • NeRf September 6, 2006 at 12:26 am

    this ‘kid: is exactly why we’re getting targeted by the police here in portland. i’m sure all he saw in his head was a new bike.
    Why now, “im in front of a bunch of other cyclists, they’ll all side with me if something happens this is perfect.”
    these hipsters are why we messengers are getting targeted,


    this is so rediculous, why dress and ride as us, whas next dressing as MAILMEN???? FEDEX?????

    its the same f-ing thing.
    also every messenger i know ( of and personally) that rides fixed, is skilled, very skilled, so look at this as it is, one of the prime examples of what REALLY going on in portland.
    it goes with what i’ve been saying, if you don’t know or arn’t physically able to ride fixed, don’t comment, i’m not telling people how to f-ing HANG-GLIDE…..


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  • Dabby September 6, 2006 at 12:31 am

    Oh, I love a good read….

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  • Dabby September 6, 2006 at 12:47 am

    By the way, if I am being questioned by the police, unless I have a rush job on board, the last thing I am going to tell them is that I am a messenger. It is only going to cause you more trouble.
    I would like to edit my earlier comments to say that He definitly IS NOT A MESSENGER!!!
    And now, due to his own ignorance, he never will be, for most messengers choose who the company they work for hires.
    And he just burned the biggest bridge in town….

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  • SKiDmark September 6, 2006 at 2:15 am

    OK folks pay attention: I think if you look up “hipster” on wikipedia you will find a picture of Mr. Moptop here. I see no messenger bag, I see no Nextel. I also think if this kid showed up at the Yamhill Pub claiming “messenger” and rocking “PORT LAND” sharpied on his knuckles he would get the worst atomic wedgie ever and then get dragged down the street by it.

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  • GoGoGadget September 6, 2006 at 6:56 am

    Portland sez he’s not a messenger.

    He may have run out & bought the POS with the intention of becoming a messenger, dorks like this douche do it all the time and only last a month or two if that.

    His legs, his scrawny scrawny legs with 0 definition, (you can be scrawny, but no tone??) and pasty pasty whiteness at THE END of summer?

    And Gary found his priors, this douche deserves to be arrested, and the Portland mesenger association, if there is one, should verify his employment, or rather lack thereof, and release a statement.

    The press would announce it, everyone likes to laugh at a douche claiming to be something he’s not for image.

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  • Jonathan Maus September 6, 2006 at 7:47 am

    Just an FYI, when I asked him which messenger company he worked for he couldn’t tell me. He said he just got hired and didn’t remember the name of the company.

    I also doubt that he’ll get back if he reads all these comments.

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  • RedMenace September 6, 2006 at 7:50 am

    Good to hear this dude isn’t really a messenger… The first thing I thought when I read this was “THAT douchebag took Sharkey’s job?!”

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  • SKiDmark September 6, 2006 at 9:22 am

    Maybe he got hired by Transerve?

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  • wingnut September 6, 2006 at 10:47 am

    if you look at what is happening in activist circles it could be very possible that he was payed by someone. i mean some people spend like 2 years hanging out with people and having sex with them just to get information. nyc having cops in critical mass filming and directing the group while undercover… sketchy stuff. all in all share the road is one of the stupidest thing i have ever heard. in sf i had many cars almost run me off the road and then i see their bumper sticker… a bike/car coexist.

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  • Tbird September 6, 2006 at 2:49 pm

    This was a set up all the way around.
    When I first saw the pic of this dude getting cuffed and stuffed my first thought, was that ” agent smith” and “shaggy the biker” were posing for the pic. In addition to that, cops almost NEVER allow someone to snap pics and question why they are arresting the perp. Sure I believe the cops or someone similar could have arranged it.
    stranger things have happened.
    I think I want a sharpie tat…. maybe something along the lines of COOL DUDE
    Be safe Y’all

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  • hoover September 6, 2006 at 3:10 pm

    wow. it really does sound most likely that he was trying to make a ‘share the road’ point, and thought he’d be trixie and bash the car to show how awful they are.

    my guess is he got what he deserves. the best way to show how we can share the road is to follow the rules of the road, which unfortunately most messengers seem unable or unwilling to do.

    and, by the way, what’s with all this negative profiling and stereotyping about this dumb kid’s hair, shoes, headbadge, etc? get a grip!

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  • gabrielamadeus September 6, 2006 at 4:08 pm

    Yeah, the “messenger/hipster” profiling is pretty lame fellas. What are you, the Bush administration?

    And patience, please. Can’t we just wait to find out the FACTS without jumping to (maybe) far-fetched conclusions?

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  • tds September 6, 2006 at 4:49 pm

    What many folks on this post don’t realize is that there is a very fine line between hipster and messenger and it is getting hard to tell the two groups apart because many folks are part of both. Everyone and their mama has a messenger bag, a fixed gear and a little cap in this here city.
    I agree that it was pretty lame of him to say that he is a messenger while being arrested, and that he might be some secret agent type, and that he probably can’t stop on his bike (like many people I have seen riding around… if you can’t skid to a stop, you need a damn break, I don’t care if it isn’t “cool”- see where the messenger/hipster mentality collides?!)
    But stop this us vs. them BS. I see plenty of riders with their pasty, no-tone legs hauling ass around town. Everyone stop caring about what bike you ride and what clothes you wear. There are better ways to waste your time…

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  • Lou Cipher September 6, 2006 at 8:50 pm

    Sounds like a joke I heard:

    Q:What’s the difference between a hipster and a messenger?

    A: (Snootily) You mean you don’t know?

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  • sam September 6, 2006 at 9:27 pm

    We don’t really know much. I think we’ve got a better shot at being taken seriously, and respected, in future incedents, if we can manage not to foster an “us-vs-them”. Maybe instead we can foster a little “us-all need educating”…

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  • BLDZR September 7, 2006 at 7:49 am

    or, maybe events like this will continue to weed out that jackasses that ride track bikes – oh, sorry, “fixies” – without the first idea how to control them.

    I have no love for people who think they can buy a lifestyle. This kid exemplifies that.

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  • joy September 7, 2006 at 8:39 am

    I’m still disturbed by this.

    I was there to witness the arrest but not the incident/accident. I regret that I, too, let my emotions take over while trying to talk to the police but it still seems to me that the cyclist was handled differently than motorists are in similar situations. Unfortunately, cyclists often appear to be labeled (by law enforcement) as troublemakers and are assumed to be in the wrong while motorists just have “accidents”.

    Yes, the guy is a poseur – no doubt about it- but why do we care? The point of the story is that motorists and cyclists are not treated equally.

    Whatever happened, it’s just left a bad taste in my mouth.

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  • Caroline September 7, 2006 at 8:41 am

    I have a hunch Koch is an undercover cop.

    Didn’t I just hear Mark Ginsberg bragging about how, outside downtown Portland, there are no incidents of fixed-gear bicycles causing accidents?

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  • Jonathan Maus September 7, 2006 at 8:49 am

    I just uploaded a new photo I took right after the crash. Notice the Town Car. The cyclist claims it veered right and crashed into him but in the photo the car is situated in its own lane. Why would this kid make up the story? Why would he call the cops on himself?

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  • SKiDmark September 7, 2006 at 11:37 am

    Looks like a Crown Victoria to me, the kind the Police drive. Hmmmmmm.

    Frame pad? check
    No grips? check
    Non-alleycat spoke cards? check
    Tight girl pants? check
    Pumas? check
    Phone and lock are not easily accessible.

    Fakenger or posenger – no doubt about it.

    This whole thing reeks of bullsh*t.

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  • SKiDmark September 7, 2006 at 11:45 am

    Another thing, if the Police run your ID and you have warrants, even if it is just a failure to appear in court, you will be arrested and then held until you can go before a judge. He wasn’t treated any different than a motorist or anybody else.

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  • NeRf September 7, 2006 at 4:10 pm

    so today during lunch this kid comes and sits down near me..

    “man look at this no brake ticket i got in beaverton” he said to the guy at the next table over.
    i kinda chuckled ‘hey i heard all about that” he turned a little paler.
    “Yeah i read it on bikeportland, why did you say your a messenger”
    “oh i didn’t say that”
    “well johnathan has never lied to my knowledge”
    “uh i’m looking for a job”
    good luck i’m thinking.
    his bike is still in the impound i overheard.
    i didn’t feel like totally yelling at him for trying to get money out of some old lady.
    i should have but i was eating.
    thankfully he left pretty quickly after i said the whole story was online.

    so i wanna give a shoutout to poserboy… good job everyone at the coffee shop knows the truth now.
    kinda embarassing huh?

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  • zach September 7, 2006 at 6:06 pm

    SKiDmark, it’s a tincoln town car… same chassis as a crown vic, and very similar body, but not a cop car.

    wtf is up with all of this conspiracy theory stuff? occams razor points squarely toward “dumb suburb kid.”

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  • SKiDmark September 7, 2006 at 6:29 pm

    Blimey…It’s obvious that it is just a dumb kid. Who else would call the cops when they have a warrant?

    Still that is a Crown Vic. Google it.

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  • Terry Nobbe September 7, 2006 at 6:37 pm

    I witnessed the event as it occured and reported what I saw to anyone who asked me afterwards. I watched as the auto involved and the cyclist approached the intersection northbound. I was standing on the NE corner of Hall Boulevard and SW 5th Avenue. I noticed the cyclist wearing a baseball cap and that his handlebars were angled unusually relative to the bike’s headset. The cyclist had been proceeding in the middle of the bike lane, and as the lane started to veer slightly left to accomodate the right turn land to SW 5th, the auto seemed to crowd the bike lane slightly without entering it as it was slowing for an indicated red light. The cyclist seemed to turn slighly toward the auto, then turned away, then back again, colliding with the car, bouncing off, then slowing falling to the pavement. The auto driver came to a stop and initiated their 4-way flashers as the cyclist picked himself and the bike up and walked to the nearest treelawn.

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  • joy September 7, 2006 at 7:54 pm

    I’ve been bumped by cars while riding my bike and while crossing the street at a crosswalk with a walk signal and the police have never run the ID of the motorists involved. They didn’t run my ID either; but then again, I look like the 44 year old mom that I am.

    My point above is that the police often treat people very differently because those people are perceived to belong to a particular group.

    Those who are messengers know that Koch is a poseur, but I’m not sure the Beaverton police know the difference.

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  • tacks September 7, 2006 at 10:36 pm

    “The cyclist seemed to turn slighly toward the auto, then turned away, then back again, colliding with the car, bouncing off, then slowing falling to the pavement.”

    sounds like someone doesn’t know how to trackstand.

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  • jami September 8, 2006 at 8:41 am

    tacks, where’d you find that info? it’s the perfect missing sentence in this story. it sure as hell explains why he lied.

    poor kid.

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  • btr September 8, 2006 at 10:33 am

    the kids an idiot… the cop with hair is kinda hot though.

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  • tacks September 8, 2006 at 5:53 pm

    jami – see comment #49 by Terry Nobbe.

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  • shortSleeves September 8, 2006 at 10:34 pm

    I hope the Portland bike scene is not truly as petty, condescending and close minded as they make themselves out to be in this thread.

    These comments remind me of the small redneck high school I went to. You couldn’t get an A unless you played basketball, and were ruthlessly targeted for not wearing Nikes and being some other color than white.

    Nothing concrete has been reported about the situation. This kid could be someone who’s enthusiastic about cycling and doesn’t know all the tricks yet. Does he deserve to have a whole fraction of the Portland bike scene publicly berating and humiliating him because he doesn’t know how to do a track stand yet?

    It’s hard for me to distinguish, with comments like these, from those who believe in the lifestyle and those who just dress like it.

    I’m embarrassed at the sense of “community” but I don’t know why I expected better.

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  • Dr. Mark Ross September 8, 2006 at 11:53 pm

    tbird sez: “In addition to that, cops almost NEVER allow someone to snap pics [while arresting someone]. . .”

    Can you provide evidence to back this statement up? Have you SEEN cops always tell people to stop taking pictures? Have they busted photographers for taking pictures of arrests?

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  • SKiDmark September 9, 2006 at 7:51 am

    I believe Rev. Phil has a video of a Police Officer threatening him with arrest if he does not stop filming. During the WTO riots many people were tackled and arrested for taking pictures and some of that was caught on video as well. Generally the Police are only concerned about someone taking pictures when they are abusing their authority. Running someones ID to see if they have warrants is common proceedure after an accident, so I am sure those two Police Officers felt they weren’t doing anything wrong, and they weren’t.

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  • jami September 9, 2006 at 9:37 am

    tacks: whoops. if it had been a snake, it would have bit me.

    your trackstand hypothesis sounds exactly right.

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  • joe September 9, 2006 at 3:24 pm

    wait, i knew i’ve seen that kid before! i was on my way to Good Dog/Bad Dog and i’ve seen him sitting at the Portland coffee shop (and the square) with the rest of the kids that are ALWAYS just sitting there.

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  • push down September 9, 2006 at 9:02 pm

    man you guys a mean… who knows how, why or any other thing about this kid! but i don’t think anyone is stupid enough to be in with the cops let alone call them on themselfs!

    like i say who knows what really happened! i bet you even he doesn’t even really know!
    yeah think about that one portland!

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  • benji September 10, 2006 at 9:02 pm

    I know this kid, he went to my school. Kind of had the rep of a douche. I started seeing him downtown earlier this summer and he talked to my friend who was riding fixie one day. A few weeks later we saw him with that bike in the pictures and he seemed to be having a hard time.

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  • tacks September 10, 2006 at 11:19 pm

    shortsleeves: I cannot speak for others, but I wasnt talking shit when I said it sounds like he couldn’t trackstand.
    based on an eyewitness account (comment #49), I made a statement that anyone could have come up with. I did not mean it to be slanderous or derogatory, just a statement of what it *sounds* like happened.

    and really, why should the cycling community hug a kid who 1.lied about being a courier furthering their undeserved crappy rep in the eyes of police 2. lied about a driver hitting HIM instead of the reverse and 3. did this all in front of a pro-cycling demonstration which whether or not you like it, gave them less credibility as safety advocates.

    I agree that the kid calling the cops on himselves and the police willingness to be photographed sounds ultra-unrealistic, but whatever. it still sounds like the whole thing was due to a failed attempt at trackstanding and his subsequent attempt to cover it up.

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  • jami September 11, 2006 at 12:38 pm

    shortsleeves, a lot of the people on this thread might be pretty young. (putting on granny voice) i remember back when i was a youngster in 1992, that there were the kids who liked the pearl jam but hadn’t ever heard of the “bleach.” they were called poseurs, too (end granny voice).

    and then we all grew up and the poseurs got good jobs and the people obsessed with the scene stayed stuck in the scene. in general.

    the kid’ll be fine. the sort of dorky enthusiasm it takes to write port land on your fingers with sharpie is rewarded by society, although he’d better cool it with the lying.

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  • BLDZR September 11, 2006 at 12:54 pm

    hey. If you’re young and in the scene, you get hazed, that’s the way it is. And if you’re young, not really even in the scene, and a lying douche. You get seriously chastised for it. There is nothing wrong with that.

    It’s not because I’m young, it’s because I’m a grumpy old man who doesn’t like kids trying to accesorize their way into my scene, and ruin it with overenthusiasm instead of common sense.

    The kids who are poseurs to begin with and “get good jobs” are still poseurs, or squares, or whatever you like. This kid will be fine as long as he avoids messengers all together. I wouldn’t let him live down the title of “fakenger douche that ruined it for everybody.”

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  • Brad September 11, 2006 at 2:30 pm

    shortSleeves: A “community” of cyclists can have varied opinions, rivalries, codes of conduct, etc. In short, we are just like society at large but with a shared passion for bikes. It does not mean that we have to excuse bad riders or give passes to people who behave badly simply because they are on two wheels.

    The kid acted stupidly. He was wanted by the cops for another infraction. Both counts mar the reputation of a community seeking validation and greater acceptance. If you don’t want the disdain, then don’t act like an ass. The kid is getting what he deserves.

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  • pushkin September 11, 2006 at 3:22 pm

    Anyone who dares emulate those he considers cool and flatters them by imitating their style is worthy of derision, right? Presumptions of guilt about a minor traffic incident provide a thin veil for general mean-spiritedness and pettiness.
    The unfortunate whipping boy probably won’t become a messenger in the end, not because he was shunned by the gatekeepers of the “scene”, but rather because he came to his senses and saw the man behind the curtain.
    What a bunch of muppets.

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  • NeRf September 12, 2006 at 12:03 am

    or darwinism will take effect and he’ll meet his end when he hits the MAX.

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  • NeRf September 12, 2006 at 12:06 am

    not that i wish it upon anyone, he’ll come to his senses, or get bored and move on to the next cool thing, the only thing that worries me is the impact and repercussions he and kids like him may cause. effecting all cyclists in the end in one way or another.

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  • pushkin September 12, 2006 at 8:28 am

    What are these grave impacts and repercussions that a cyclist who gave false information to the police in an unrelated incident and who maybe (its unadjudicated at this point) bumped into a stopped car, may cause?
    “Effecting all cyclists in the end in one way or another” – I think that’s a bit of a stretch. Could this kid really cause so much trouble for the community? That’s a heck of a domino theory.

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  • Brad September 12, 2006 at 9:27 am

    Car / bike accidents seem way up this summer (or just reported better) and activists rally to bring attention to the issue and get drivers to slow down and be more cognizant of cyclists on the road. As a rider, I feel vulnerable and I want drivers to respect our right to use the roads and share them.

    Sadly, when a stunt like this kid pulled gets reported, the reaction amongst non-cyclists is something like “crazy mofo bike riders!”. Then when the kid looks like he is trying to scam money from the lady the perception is that we are opportunist crazy mofo bike riders. In today’s sound bite and sensationalist world, one or two morons who get publicity become the de-facto standard bearers for all of us.

    Grave inplications? How about driver’s seeing “hit-and-run” as viable when they strike a cyclist? After all, that cyclist is just looking for an opportunity to sue me, take my car, my house, my kid’s college fund, etc. because that’s how they are.

    How about the police automatically assuming any accident is the cyclist’s fault? C’mon, they routinely leave their bike lanes for no reason, act holier than thou and rebellious, run stop signs, have no respect for the law, make stuff up, etc.

    Guys like NeRf who work as meessengers feel it more so as those riders already have a scofflaw image with drivers and cops. This kid’s actions help reinforce a negative stereotype. That’s not mean spirited, that’s protecting his industry.

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  • pushkin September 12, 2006 at 10:21 am

    Brad –
    The cyclist in question was reported only on this website. Your assumption that non-bikers or other observers will look at the incident as a way of him trying to scam money is just that, an assumption; for everyone of those there is probably another. The irony here is that the broadcasted assumptions of him trying to scam money have come directly from other cyclists on this website before any investigation and adjudication has been carried out, and not from the public at large.
    Please produce the evidence that the police assume bike/car accidents are the cyclist’s fault.
    The messengers who feel the heat will be those who break the law; the police will not be pulling messengers over willy-nilly just because some guy in Beaverton bumped into a car and said he was a messenger. Although I know that messengers are extremely skilled and the way they ride rarely contributes to them being in accidents (most of the time the accidents occur when they are obeying the law and the car driver does not), the scofflaw image is rightly deserved and they are breaking the letter of the law. I break the law all the time on my bike, but I don’t complain if I get a ticket when I do.
    Those messengers who publicly dissed and marginalized this kid were not protecting the industry; they were using a minor incident to pile on like a bully easily offended. Why not just say “he doesn’t have the job he claims to have, thanks for the flattery, and good luck,” instead of rolling out every insult in the book. You could point to a littany of infractions and riding habits and say those reinforce a negative stereotype, but that assumes the public harbors that stereotype and holds an individual responsible for the actions of another whose only thing in common is a bike. I think the public is smarter than that.

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  • SKiDmark September 12, 2006 at 11:16 am

    Messengers ARE being “pulled over willy-nilly”. They are being stopped while riding down the street and being issued a ticket for no brakes after STOPPING to receive it.

    Some of you must be really thin-skinned or were brought up really sheltered to think that you won’t be bagged on and made fun of when you are a neophyte at something especially when you don’t even have the passion for it to learn about it or if you claim you are something you clearly are not, like moptop boy did.

    In an odd way I kinda admire the kid for still hanging out downtown where the messengers hang out. He doesn’t even have a bike right now.

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  • Brad September 12, 2006 at 2:28 pm

    Pull your head out of the sand, Pushkin. Remember the “funny” Jammin 95.5 incident a few weeks ago? Ever heard Lars Larson rail against cyclists who want bike lanes but don’t carry licenses or pay gas taxes like car drivers have to? Have you ever gone for a Saturday ride on NW Skyline only to get buzzed, flipped off, and called “faggot” or “asshole” multiple times just for riding on a public street?

    You must live in a utopian neighborhood or only ride at Bridge Pedal because most here will testify that it is pretty dangerous out there and cyclists are not well respected by the public at large. It would also appear that you have a dislike for messengers based on the language of your post. Are your comments motivated by that rather than some need to stand up for a wayward kid?

    If the kid wasn’t looking for an insurance settlement then why call the cops? It sounds like he was trying to profit from his failed trackstand and considering his previous brushes with the law it is not a stretch. What about the woman driving the car? How freaked out is she because of his incompetence or nefarious intent? She is more a victim than he is.

    I agree that ALL on bikes need to be cognizant of how we present ourselves to the public. It is also necessary for the cycling community to police its own ranks and that’s all this site, NeRf, Dabby, and others have done.

    Using bike lanes as right turn lanes, verbally assaulting and blaring horns at cyclists for LEGALLY using traffic lanes, complaining about tax dollars used for bike infrastructure, clogging streets with their SUVs, multiple hit-and-runs in PDX and the ‘burbs, etc.- why wouldn’t I trust the “intelligence” and benevolence of the driving masses?

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  • pushkin September 12, 2006 at 3:31 pm

    And listening to hip-hop and heavy metal will make me go out and commit socially unacceptable acts. It’s possible that the jammin 95.5 fiasco you cited and road aggression are related. It is also possible that those who rage would do so anyways. I would like to see a real causal connection. Having said that, sure I have been harassed by a few motorists, but not by every motorist.

    I have not said that riding a bike is not dangerous, in fact it is very dangerous and all the more reason to look out for yourself; however, if you keep your wits about you and assume that motorists don’t see you then you will be all the better off for it. I don’t know for a fact that the public at large disrespects cyclists as a group, some disrespect, most don’t. I have noticed that most people have rudimentary driving skills at best and that is what causes accidents (car/car and car/bike), not a deep rooted hatred or disrespect for cyclists as a whole or other drivers. You have made a generalization based on the acts of a vocal few.

    My comments about the kid are motivated by an attitude of: why debase and diss someone for such a minor issue? Why be negative and throw around the insults and be uncivil? It says more about the insulter than the insulted when your only jabs in this debate are ones that pander to grade school put downs and hyperbole. Rather than throwing cheap shots at me based on your assumptions about my riding habits, why don’t you stick to the issues?

    Just because the kid called the cops doesn’t mean he was looking for an insurance settlement. Maybe he wanted to press charges, I don’t know and neither do you. Don’t make assumptions and then publicly pillory a person based on them.

    You can’t win this debate by putting up a straw man about the woman driver’s supposed emotional unhinging and victimhood either. Your conjectures regarding the facts and outcome of this incident may be right, or they may be wrong; we’ll see when the record, if any, is produced.

    As for the “cycling community” policing its own ranks, no thank you. Do you say to everyone who you perceive as belonging to a suspect class , “hey, when you did such and such don’t you know that makes all people I lump you in with look bad”? I don’t tell others how to ride and don’t agree that since we both happen to ride bikes that that gives someone the right to tell me what to do. I don’t care if someone rides without brakes or on a recumbent with a trailer or whatever, that is their business. The laws on the books are guidance enough, our legal system is pretty good despite its flaws.

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  • iamaugie September 12, 2006 at 5:53 pm

    man, his belt looks stupid.

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  • NeRf September 12, 2006 at 8:37 pm

    hmmm, i just remembered that pushkin has no effect on my life. time to move on…

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  • SKiDmark September 12, 2006 at 9:45 pm

    It’s like screaming at a wall!

    (some of the 40-somethings will get it…)

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  • NeRf September 12, 2006 at 10:33 pm

    minor threat

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  • SKiDmark September 12, 2006 at 11:39 pm

    Whatever NeRf, you LOVE Pearl Jam.

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  • NeRf September 13, 2006 at 5:57 pm

    where did that come from?….not denying it….

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  • jami September 13, 2006 at 6:59 pm

    uh, the pearl jam diss was my fault (a comment about “poseurs” up-thread).

    i like pearl jam, too, for the record. but i’ve also heard of “bleach.” but i didn’t get the minor threat reference. shit.

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  • iamaugie September 13, 2006 at 9:36 pm


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  • SKiDmark September 14, 2006 at 11:11 am

    Jeez, NeRf, I didn’t think I had to throw in smilies for YOU 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

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  • NeRf September 14, 2006 at 7:12 pm

    wtf are you talking about????

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  • SKiDmark September 14, 2006 at 8:22 pm

    NM…..hey NeRf, you guys heard from our benevolent internet friend Brett?

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  • NeRf September 17, 2006 at 1:47 pm

    gave up on that as soon as he offered

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  • shortSleeves September 21, 2006 at 3:34 pm

    tacks, NeRf, SKIDmark, and others:

    My point was:

    we don’t know for sure what happened,


    we don’t know if he’s a messenger, poser, liar, nark, or whatever.

    Please do not mistake pointing out that we have very little facts as making excuses or sticking up for him.

    “Some of you must be really thin-skinned or were brought up really sheltered to think that you won’t be bagged on and made fun of when you are a neophyte at something especially when you don’t even have the passion for it to learn about it or if you claim you are something you clearly are not, like moptop boy did.”

    I imagine very few people have not experienced this in their lives. Since you seem to be defending it, can you really provide reasonable proof that we as a society are happier and benefitting overall from this way of thinking?

    When will we ever grow out of playground mentality? It’s getting rather boring.

    And for those of you who will misunderstand, I’m not saying “be nice to everyone, no matter what.”

    I suppose, in the end, the search for truth is not nearly as important as maintaining a fragile ego.

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  • Jonny Fly September 23, 2006 at 2:03 am

    Funny. Thats my old bike. LEARN TO RIDE A BIKE PENNY!! Parked cars aren’t hard to notice…
    Love and Solidarity

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  • Damian September 23, 2006 at 7:24 pm

    I watched a kid with the same outfit, a mini hawk, and bandana ride brakeless past my stand outside of 200 Market going all of maybe 15 mph. He had the entire block, low gearing and couldn’t stop. He tried to turn down 2nd but was going too fast and went for the sidewalk ramp which was full of people waiting to cross. It was nuts watching this kid just ride into the curb to the left and go over the bars. The people were confused and it had to hurt but of course he quickly rode off. I’ll bet not one person there understood what happened but Slick would’ve got tagged for it since it was obvious he didn’t know how to operated his bike as smoothly as his outfit. This came right after the initial ruling on brakes. It’s a good thing this douche rode off cause the cops would’ve eaten that up. Couldn’t believe my eyes then and wouldn’t have if I’d seen this turd in Beaverton. If of course I ever chose to place myself there.

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  • […] Take for example an event that happened at the beginning of this September. A young man, riding a brakeless fixed gear conversion collided with a car in Beaverton. He was handcuffed by police, and while being taken to the cruiser, proclaimed to be a messenger. Many people claim and/or speculate that this individual is not, nor has ever been, a messenger, and give ample reasons for their claims. You can read the discussion because I’m not going to take the time to rehash all of it. […]

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  • SKiDmark September 26, 2006 at 12:02 am

    He is NOT a messenger. If downtown messengers are saying he is not a messenger, then he isn’t. And he isn’t wearing a red shirt, so he doesn’t work for Transerve, either.

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  • Jonny Fly September 26, 2006 at 10:27 am

    The kid traded his old bike to me for that bike which is impounded may I add, For this bike I’m riding now. He failed to mention the bent bottem bracket, Bent crank arm and multiple other problems. I saw him the other day standing on the corner doing the slave the children thing. he got really butt-sore when I skid stopped over his toe s on the bike he gave me that is completly fixed now. Sorry kid but if your gonna give someone a jankie bike your gonna get some shit. And may I tell you to not put front headsets on upside down anymore. You might kill yourself that way.
    Love and Solidarity

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  • Jeff September 26, 2006 at 4:09 pm

    SKiDmark: I think we all know he’s not a messenger. Personally, I’ve never seen him around town at events or during the day when he should be working.

    And what the fuck is that “Support The Troops” sticker doing in his spokes? Did he participate in a “Support The Troops” race? Heh.

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  • Jonny Fly September 26, 2006 at 8:34 pm

    No I put that on there when I first got that bike and it says “Support our oops” It a magnetic ribbon.

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  • Jeff September 27, 2006 at 4:59 pm

    “Jonny Fly”, are you the Daniel Koch from this story?

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  • Jonny Fly September 28, 2006 at 1:32 am

    No, I didn’t even know this guy’s name was Daniel. He goes by penny or atleast when I met him thats what he said his name was, Unless that was a lie too. I’m just some short punk kid who rides a bike. I don’t him personally but I know he has stolen bikes and rips people off.

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  • Jeff September 28, 2006 at 1:34 am

    No, I didn’t even know this guy’s name was Daniel. He goes by penny or atleast when I met him thats what he said his name was, Unless that was a lie too. I’m just some short punk kid who rides a bike. I don’t him personally but I know he has stolen bikes and rips people off.

    Hmm, I’m starting to wonder what/who we’re supposed to believe.

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  • Jonny Fly September 28, 2006 at 2:59 am

    Name is Jonny or just Jon. I use to Zoo bomb. Just got into fixed not to long ago but have been biking none stop for awile now. I’m suppose to start Transerve this friday and I hate elitist ass-faces trying to start something when you’ve never met me nor him. You may have seen me pissing off the fence at ZB Kickball, Hanging out at Portland Coffee House waiting for my partner, Or even fixing a flat tire at a Car-free street, You may have as so far as of seen me at stumptown. Not on a bike just enjoying thier great P-town coffee. But that still doesn’t mean you know who I’am… I’ve told Daniel aka Penny about this he knows he is the wroung and how he owes my partner money for me trading him a perfectly good bike besides that the frame was to big for me for a jankie ass bike that he didnt even know what was wroung with. Bottom bracket, Front headset, Dropouts, Crank, Seat post. Don’t start. You wanna meet me? look for “Fly” on black Chrome bag and or whistle or even throw something at me (just not at my spokes). I’ll introduce myself. Otherwise please keep your mouth silenced.
    Love and Solidarity

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  • Jeff September 28, 2006 at 3:10 am

    Wait, what are you talking about? Are you pictured above in the shot of the Towncar? Because it looks like you’re the same person that’s being led to the police cruiser in cuffs.

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  • Jonny Fly September 28, 2006 at 3:17 am

    Me March 4th 2006 Shumacher Fur Protest

    Penny Being Frisked by Protectors of the state

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  • Jonny Fly September 28, 2006 at 3:25 am

    wtf? Codes dont work on here that sucks. Well here
    http://www.myspace.com/68904996 thats me.

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  • […] They’re experts, and of course they mark and hone their skills with particular sorts of bicycles, and particular styles of riding and dressing. And of course this inspires others to the highest form of flattery, with varying results. […]

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  • adam December 20, 2006 at 3:55 pm

    group? –
    what were the lessons learned here?
    did we end up with justice or what?

    it is a confusing tale but it seems like we know who did it but not, exactly why? hopefully, if he needs money or help, he has gotten it. I have seen JF play naked dodge ball among other things, so, if he says so, I am inclined to believe it.

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  • Bill July 1, 2007 at 3:23 am

    Wow. This is really the most mental bicycle related thread I have read in a long time.

    What a ride!

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  • […] Hipster Scenester Rant #2 2 06 2009 So since this fakenger thing is still going after 3-4 years i thought id revisit some thoughts. Ill probably edit this […]

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