Vancouver Bike Weekend wrap-up

Bicycle CARCass competitors enjoy the
spoils of victory (a key to the City).
(All photos © Jonathan Maus)

I’m back from Vancouver BC. I intended to post more stories throughout the weekend, but that didn’t work out. Instead, here’s a full wrap-up of all the action…

Vancouver’s Big Bike Weekend was a three-day whirlwind of cross-cultural, Cascadian bike-fun.

It all kicked off in fine style Friday night with live performances and a screening of Rev Phil’s Pornography of the Bicycle followed by the Naughty Negligee Night Ride.

The spirit of the night, combined with a crowd packed with familiar Portland faces (in an array of silly and sexy bedroom attire), made it seem like I’d never left home.

Mykle Hansen and
Adrian DeJerk backstage.

The night — emceed by the incomparable duo of Rev Phil and Vancouver’s Ifny Lachance — started out with live performances (no, not of pornography: here’s the lineup). The first act was silent and featured a sexy mechanic who lustfully “stripped” her bike (get it?) while two masked sign holders told the story.

Then it was time for a special reading of hilariously witty anti-erotica by Portland-resident and writer, Mykle Hansen. Mykle read from “Eyeheart Everything” a collection of his short stories and humor pieces. Adorned in a charming costume, Mykle read with panache and had the audience going crazy with laughter.

Other highlights included an auction of original documents and memorabilia from Rev Phil’s infamous Naked Justice Trial and a 2010 Olympic ceremony featuring Vancouverella and Portlandia scarfing down the Olympic Rings made out of huge Voodoo Donuts smuggled across the border.

And oh yeah, there was also some bike porn; but I have to admit, the live performances stole the show.

Not quite naked, but close enough.

After we had our fill of bike porn and associated debauchery, we set off into the Vancouver night for a “Naughty Negligee” themed ride. The ride ended up at a park with a pond where we hung out on the beach and several folks opted to take a dip in the warm water.

Check out my photo gallery for more action from Friday.

The fun continued on Saturday with PedalFest, a spate of bike contests, and the VeloMutation party.

PedalFest was a community event that featured a freak bike petting zoo and performances by the Sprockettes (photos), the B:C:Clettes (photos), and the all-male Brakes.

This side-by-side bike was part of the Bicycle Petting Zoo.

Sometimes the crowd is just as interesting as the performance.

See all my photos from PedalFest.

Up next was Bicycle CARCass IV, which organizers called, “a day of bicycle battlegames and buffoonery” where “body armor and silliness” were encouraged.

All tied up.

There were some hotly contested matches of bicycle whiplash (sort of like steer wrestling by bike except you use an innertube instead of a rope); a balloon derby (last one with balloon intact wins); a strip race (ride around a track and disrobe without putting your foot down) which I won but my title was mistakenly claimed by an overzealous Vancouverite; and of course the main event, Bicycle CARCass (which I still don’t quite understand).

Agent Standard Deviation
wowed the crowd with her
feat of hula-hooping while doing
a handlebar trackstand.

See all my photos from Bicycle CARCass.

Later Saturday night was the climax of the weekend, the VeloMutation party. In a packed warehouse near the Vancouver waterfront, we were treated to special sets by: the Sprockettes; the Brakes; the B:C:Clettes, and the Velo Vixens.

Each group flaunted their distinct style and treated the crowd to energy-packed performances. Get a sense of the action in my VeloMutation Photo Gallery.

But wait, there’s more…

After a family ride through the city (see photos here), we made our way to Polorobics; an ’80s aerobics-themed bike polo tournament and the final event of Bike Weekend.

More Polorobics photos here.

The tourney was hosted by the crew of East Van Bike Polo and the action was fierce (would you want to go up against her?).

After Polorobics, we may our way back to our home base for a potluck. Our gracious hosts, TransLink Planner Gavin Davidson and his family, invited a bunch of Vancouver bike advocates for a meet and greet.

I shared (all too brief) conversations with folks from Better Environmentally Sustainable Transportation (BEST); the Vancouver Area Bicycle Coalition; Amy Walker, Editor of Momentum Magazine; Lee “the Fossilosopher” Henderson; and others.

Whew. I told you it was a whirlwind.

Huge thanks and gratitude are due to all the great Vancouver bike-lovers that made this happen. Also a quick shout-out is due to Perrin and Victor at Rain City Bikes. We got caught in the rain on Friday and Perrin offered up a bakfiets with a rain-cover to keep my two little girls dry and happy. Thanks Perrin!