Off to Vancouver for VeloMutation…and more

The B.C. Clettes-15

I’ll get to see the beautiful
B:C:Clettes on their home turf.
(Photo: Jonathan Maus)

In a few hours, Juli, the girls and I will pack into the mini-van and drive up to Vancouver BC for a weekend packed with bike events.

Starting tomorrow night, our sister bike culture city to the north launches three days of creative, frenzied, two-wheeled fun (anchored by a legendary bike party known as VeloMutation).

Although I’ve heard about (and seen photos of) this bikey weekend in the past, I would probably not be going if it weren’t for Juli’s new passion: the Sprockettes. Yes, if you haven’t heard (or seen) already, Juli is one of the newest Sprockettes!

She made her debut last weekend while I was at Cycle Oregon, so I can’t wait to see her do her thing. As one of the Sprockettes’ biggest fans, it’s really exciting that they’re now a part of our family (sort of).

Mini Bike Winter IV - Chariot Wars

Vancouver bike personality and
“Pedal Revolutionary” Ifny Lachance
(seen here at Mini Bike Winter).
(Photo: Jonathan Maus)

Supporting Juli’s new dancing career is just one reason to spend a long weekend in Vancouver. Besides being a generally amazing city (I’ve heard they plan to have no cars in their downtown within ten years), the spate of bike events this weekend is a perfect opportunity to soak up Vancouver’s vibrant bike culture.

Check out the line-up of events so far:

    Friday

    The Pornography of the Bicycle
    A night of sexxxy movies, dramatic re-enactment, tassles, & two-wheeled foreplay. Emcees: Reverend Phil of the Portland and Ifny, Pedal Revolutionary. Witness the Bike Striptease! Also appearing: King Codpiece, holy relics and the Creaking Planks, rendering tunes of the boudoir helpless and quivering. Afterglow tunes by Tom Cunningham IV and the Americans. Beer & swag sold to all comers. Portlandia cometh! Vancouverella awaiteth!

    Naughty Negligee Night Ride
    In the tradition of the Great Nekkid Bike Ride, doff your threads and head out into the night. See-though polyester, sequins, bits of fluff, tiaras and tootsie rolls, bring out your naughty bits and ride Vancouver en sassy masse! Raincoat check available. Lingerie optional!

    Saturday

    Biker Breakfast
    Get limbered up with grub & conversation. Help welcome out-of-town bikers unfamiliar with our strange ways.

    Ahh, what wonders await us?!
    (Photo from Zoobomb Forum)

    PedalFest
    Celebration of bike arts & culture presented by PEDAL, PedalPlay, Our Community Bikes! & Blim. Bike crafts/fashion, pedaling zoo, w/ the Sprockettes, the B:C:Clettes, Brakes, Blackberry Wood, Meaghan Rose.

    Bicycle CARcass IV
    A day of bicycle battlegames and buffoonery including jousting, derbies, blindfold races and a game of Afghan buzkashi. The Key to the City of East Vancouver is once again up for grabs, currently held by the Shawn of Bellingham. Armour and silliness encouraged. Bring duct tape. Helpers welcome!

    G’day Mate Almost All Aussie Alley Cat Race
    Aussie-themed race, open to all forms & sizes of pedal-powered devices. Bag, pen & lock are required to race. Vegemite disgustingly optional. Prizes!

    VeloMutation Party
    Party w/ live performances by the Sprockettes, B:C:Clettes, Velo Vixens, BRAKES, Elemental Circus of Fire, DJs, booze, dancing.

    Sunday

    Biker Breakfast
    Breakfast of champions.

    Polorobics

    Polo East Van style. 80s theme tourney. Wear 80s gear to play, or root through the tickle trunk. Limited edition bandana to first 20 who sign in. Individual registration, teams chosen at random. 1-2-3 sweatin!

    Alpine Bombtastic
    Get on a bike & ride down a mountain. Why? Because you could. Or at least, you weren’t afraid to break your shizz trying. Minibikes encouraged, helmets mandatory.

I’ll be joined by loads of Portlanders (many of them Zoobombers) who plan to make the trip, including a small crew who’ve pedaled all the way up there (check out Tom Rolf’s terrific, tour-ready tall-bike!).

But this trip won’t be just about creative bike culture; I also hope to learn a bit about the bureaucratic side of things. We’ll be staying with veteran bike activist and now head of bike planning for TransLink (Vancouver’s regional transportation authority), Gavin Davidson.

That’s a lot to soak up in just three days (not to mention keeping track of my two little ones)!

Stay tuned for photos and thoughts from the road.

For more information on the crazy, B.I.K.E. Vancouver weekend, check out the official website. Pile in a car with some friends and join us!

Jonathan Maus (Publisher/Editor)

Jonathan Maus (Publisher/Editor)

Founder of BikePortland (in 2005). Father of three. North Portlander. Basketball lover. Car driver. If you have questions or feedback about this site or my work, contact me via email at maus.jonathan@gmail.com, or phone/text at 503-706-8804. Also, if you read and appreciate this site, please become a paying subscriber.

Thanks for reading.

BikePortland has served this community with independent community journalism since 2005. We rely on subscriptions from readers like you to survive. Your financial support is vital in keeping this valuable resource alive and well.

Please subscribe today to strengthen and expand our work.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

6 Comments
oldest
newest most voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
a.O
a.O
16 years ago

Bring me back a Cuban!

BURR
BURR
16 years ago

bring me back some ACC and some Cuban Rum

Bearhat
Bearhat
16 years ago

i went last year and performed with the Sprockettes for the first time and the whole weekend was an amazing experience. being in a van full of girls and mini bikes strapped on top for so many hours is quite an adventure. it\’s like a giant ZB field trip with lots of Sparks for the Canadians and a lot of strange stop lights. i still don\’t know why they keep flashing sometimes…at any rate, you and the family will have a fun time for sure. keep us workaholics posted!

uzi
uzi
16 years ago

If you want to soak up the bike culture in Van BC… man… I really think you should put the North Shore on your list of things to check out. Easiest access is just drive up Mt Seymore Road and you are there. These trails have arguably made more of an impact on modern mountain biking than anything else.

If Vancouver BC is known for anything in the world of bicycles, it\’s the Shore. Have fun.

Todd B
Todd B
16 years ago

Slow down as you pedal through Vancouver1 to reach Vancouver#2.

Have fun Jonathan (and others)!

ringer
16 years ago

Don\’t forget your case of beer from the states. Beer in canada is very expense, and warm. Also sparks isn\’t sold there, so if you want to be a canadians new best friend….