Posted by Jonathan Maus (Publisher/Editor) on February 19th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
[Reporting and photos by Mykle Hansen]
The City of Portland narrowly escaped a year of foreign dominance last night, when the Key to Portland was recaptured by Zoobomber Corey “Solid” Gold in a thilling tiebreaker at LegoHouse International Raceways in Washington Park.
This year, official scorekeeper Lapis Pezulis devised a complex point system to choose an overall winner from the many victors in the weekend’s many contests. Canada’s lead seemed unassailable until Sunday night’s Tour De Bomb downhill races, where Gabriel Amadeus won the minibike class in an exciting photo finish, and Solid Gold took first in the freak-bike race.
This, plus the strong showing of Sauce McSaucerson racing his chariot in the open class, added up to a 5-way tie between locals Gold, Amadeus and Sauce, and occupying canadians James “Can-Am” Brake and Ifny “Fighting” LaChance.
The Ben Hurt race at LegoHouse is a test of stamina and control — curves are sharp, passing is tight, and obstacles abound. But
Gold’s experience on this course gave him an early lead that the others could not retake. The crowd went wild as Gold, wearing only a spandex G-string and a tiger hat, completed his victory lap and was crowned All-Knowing Dictator of Zoobomb.
After Corey and Ifny received their awards — Ifny won the trophy for Highest Scoring Visitor — one final test of ultimate Zoobomb
sportsmanship remained: the Beer Bungee! Thirsty athletes sprinted uphill against the force of a thick strap of recycled inner tubes, struggling to reach an ever-receeding can of beer. Does any sport in the pantheon of Zoobomb althletics better capture the spirit of effort, sportsmanship and stupidity that is Zoobomb?
Your correspondent goes “hmmmmmm ….”
Thanks for that report Mykle.
More on Mini-Bike Winter IV: