[Welcome to your daily Pedalpalooza rundown. We’ll post each day’s events and rides here, so you can plan, email them to your friends, etc…

Click ride title for full details… have fun out there!]

7:00am – 9:00am: Coffee on Clay
The city of Portland is your host on SE 9th Ave and Clay Street. Stop for coffee and learn about the city’s efforts to turn Clay into a Green Street, reduce runoff in Southeast Portland, and more.

10:15am: Economy Sucks But I Don’t Care
Sleep late, forget about that job you don’t have, and meet at the Albina Press at N Albina and Blandena.

2:00pm – 3:00pm: Mountain Hardwear Hardgear
Three-block long race. The catch: all three blocks are up really, really steep hills. Prizes for speed and valiance. Meet at Mountain Hardwear, 722 SW Taylor St

4:00pm: Benson Bubbler Bonanza!
Ride around and learn the story behind Portland’s ubiquitous public drinking fountains. Meet at SW 5th Ave and Washington St.

5:30pm – 6:30pm: Dutch Your Bike: Netherlands Uw Fiets
DIY Dutch accessories for your bike — skirt flaps, flower vases, and more. Meet at Angst Gallery, 1015 Main Street, Vancouver

5:30pm – 7:00pm: Dyke Your Bike
Prefer sparkles, feather, and ribbons to the Dutch utilitarian look? Make your bike look fabulous! Followed by a veggie potluck in the park and then happy hour. Meet at Angst Gallery, 1015 Main Street, Vancouver

6:30pm – 8:30pm: Remedial Ride 2: Fries and Shakes
Fries and milkshakes. Bring your appetite and any hungry kids you meet along the way. Meet behind the bleachers at Col. Summers Park, SE 20th and Belmont.

7:00pm: Take the Lane Ride
Even in Portland, you can’t yet get everywhere on a Bike Boulevard. Learn the tricks of staying safe and sane on bigger streets. Meet at Laurelhurst Whole Foods, 2825 E Burnside St (in the parking lot by the Dog House).

7:00pm – 9:00pm: Gratefully Dead
Join the folks behind Oregon’s Death With Dignity Act for this ride to honor the dead and the living. Meet at Colonel Summers Park, SE 20th and Belmont.

7:00pm: The Pun-ishment Ride
Earn points for bad puns and creative wordplays as you ride. Winner gets beered. Meet at Colonel Summers Park, SE 20th and Belmont.

7:30pm: Bikendo
Learn to feel safe and stay safe with this bicycle self-defense and awareness class. Meet at the Skidmore Bluffs, 2299 N Skidmore Court.

[This Ridiculously Early Donut Ride reportage brought to you by dedicated morning person Susan Otcenas, via the Shift list. Check out Susan’s photos from the ride here.]

My alarm woke me up at 2:30 a.m.

Stumble out of bed, check the air temp (57 deg), pull on cycling clothing, stumble downstairs.

Glad I packed my pannier before I went to bed.

Hit the road at 3am for the 14 mile ride from my house in Rock Creek, over the West Hills, into town.

Not a single car passes me for the 1st 20 minutes of my ride.

At Cornell & Barnes, 2 coyotes run across the road.

Arrive @ VooDoo Donuts at 4:10a.m. to find my friends Dave & Edna on their recumbents, along with a few other hardy souls, including one guy from Maui on a fixie.

MMmmm, raspberry-filled powdered donut…. OK, I’m awake now.

4:30a.m. 9 of us head off for the ride. South and west through Goose Hollow, past the reservoir, up to the Rose Garden. In a little gear, happy *I’m* not on a fixie on those hills.

We stop and smell the roses.

Onward & upward, past the archery range, through the zoo parking lot, up to the top of Sylvan Hill.

Preparing to descend the 26 bike path.

Matt says no one keeps up with him down hills, except ‘bents & tandems, thus throwing down the gauntlet to the fixie rider.

Said fixie rider hauls @ss and keeps up with with Matt, displaying some mighty fine skid stopping skills on Pointer Street.

Now in the ‘burbs, zig zagging our way along side streets, westbound. Donutbound.

Arrive @ Every Day is a Donut Day at 6:30a.m., 15 miles later.

Much buying of donuts ensues.

Much consumption of sugar, with a side of caffeinated beverages.

Dave scores some “samples” free of charge – a paper sack filled with fresh hot glazed donuts.

Matt heads off to work, while the rest of us lollygag a little longer.

Then off we go, dropping a rider at MAX, five returning to town by riding back over the West Hills again,

Edna & I off heading further west to our office.

It’s 11:15 a.m. and my head is still buzzing from sugar and caffeine.

Is it too early for a nap?

[The New Shanghai Bike-aneers Pirate Ride report was brought to you by the organizer, Bent Ryder, via the Shift list. Yarr!]

The hardy Swashbikelers.
(Photo: Bent Ryder)

Avast ye lubbers!

Read more

[This report was brought to you by Hand-Free Derby organizer Chris “Fool” McCraw, via the Shift list.]

this was a strange sort of ride—bring yourself on your bike to
overlook park and then spend the rest of the evening going nowhere, or
more precisely in a small circle. but the catch, of course, is that
you cannot touch your handlebars.

12 intrepid competitors and at least as many spectators came out to
test their mettle in riding or sitting in the path of potential harm.
it was like roller derby, only friendlier! a total lack of hipster
posturing and some of that team spirit brought fun to the hearts of
girls, boys, and an occasional dog as we did our loops.

team shift represented really well, with daniel “teknotus” j taking
the majority of the prizes for the night, but surprise competitor carl
doing two laps in record time to take the fast lap purse.

we had 3 events, the time trial, the slowest lap (think mcbf’s slow
race, but in a circle and without handlebar interaction), and the
endurance laps. we started off with a slow lap with an unexpected #
of DQ’s, with style points going to aurelia, our youngest competitor
whose dad was there to cheer her on. Daniel took it in fine time,
trumping all competitors who finished (only 2!) by more than 20
seconds.

then came the fast lap, with a lot of finishers in the sub-30-second
range, but Carl came out ahead with his mad aero skills (have you ever
seen someone get into the drops, only, not touching their handlebars?
you’d be amazed at his style!) with not just one but 2 fast finishes
as the drunken judge had failed to accurately record initial finishing
times. mea culpa!

then on to the main event, the endurance race, which i believed daniel
had in the bag from second one, but there were several strong
competitors! lillian (also of team shift), sole inspirer of this
event, would have kept up with him for quite some time were it not for
two mechanical failures in lap one. i expect that the two of them
will be duking it out for honors in round 2, scheduled tentatively for
mid-august.

also giving strong showings were Carl (who only went down when
attempting to pick up a beer from ground level) and Chad (?) who won
the style competition by riding 1/4 lap with no hands and a beer
balanced on his helmet. he later found a second beer (we did not ask
the origin) and proceeded to drink it as he cruised to second placery.

what we learned:
– no pain, no pain. no competitors or spectators or even bystanders
were harmed in the making of this event.
– holy shit, this was fun. see you guys out there in august!

watch this list for the announcement of round 2. and don’t forget to
practice! we may choose a new arena for round 2, but you can practice
any time. rubber side down, hands not required.