5 Things I learned parenting (mostly) by bike

Well, one thought is that trying to change your spouse through direct pressure on things that don’t really matter that much (to the family, not to the world) is even more futile/counter-productive post-kids than it was pre-kids? But, it’s tough to give up on things that feel to you like they matter even though they don’t. I’m struggling with that and second-guessing small-dollar purchases with my husband right now.

Also, I’d question your belief that your lives would definitely be better non-car for all short trips. What about the stress, unpleasantness, annoyance, time-sucking, and feeling of being othered/endangered that currently comes with the exercise and endorphins and connection to community and nature of non-car transportation? For me, the calculus is on the side of non-car transport for many trips, but it’s not a slam-dunk – I can totally see how for people who experience more stress and unpleasantness and less connection and fun from the same activity the calculus would be on the other foot.

My husband is not bikey – he likes biking for short distances (<3 miles) when the temperature is between 65 and 80 and it's not raining and he didn't do a hard workout the day before. Before we had kids I tried to convince him that biking was fun outside these narrow confines and got nowhere. By the time we had kids I didn't really bother anymore. The one time I did sort of badger him into biking with the kiddos in marginal conditions, our 2-year-old whined to not have the raincover on, and then the rain arrived earlier than forecast and it poured on the way home with our 1-year-old screaming literally the entire way home. Pretty much killed any desire of mine to sell him on biking.

I think I'm the one with the car-guilt in our family. I've mostly moved beyond it with the following beliefs:
*It's hard to maintain personal sacrifice for the common good in an American culture that is so individual-focused. You get no social reinforcement, just weird looks and safety nannying.
*Mostly because of our infrastructure and culture, biking rather than driving is often a personal sacrifice.
*No amount of personal change will solve climate change/auto-dominance/sprawl/inequity/etc. The solutions are substantially all in government policy.
*Therefore, don't beat up on yourself for your amount of driving, worry about being positively civically involved instead.
*But that's close to impossible with a young kid(s), so worry about being happy instead and promise to yourself to be positively civically involved later. (It helps if you were positively civically involved pre-kids).