Local bike team will hold “wax off tournament”

Event flyer

Leave it to Portland’s very own Team Beer to do what might possibly be the most outlandish bike team sponsorship promotion ever: The Team Beer/WaxOn Wax Off.

According to Team Beer spokesman John Howe, the event is a way to get some attention for their newest sponsor, WaxOn Spa on East Burnside. Howe says several teams have committed to take part and so far there are eight contestants. “The theory of the contest is to see who makes the biggest transformation — from toes to neck.”

Here’s more from the event’s Facebook page:

“What separates the Euro Trash Racer and Fred is the preparation necessary for achieving the highest level of athletic performance. When you approach the start line with sleek tan calves, you are saying to your competitors ” I am prepared to make you suffer as I am an aerodynamic marvel and you are a hairy wannabe that will be dragged to the back of the pack by your neglect of your machine.”

I asked Mr. Howe if he’s a regular waxer. “Yes, I’ve done it. It does hurt, but the bonus is you’ve only got to do it once every five weeks or so.” As for this contest — in which some competitors will wax their you-know-whats — all I can say is, anything for a sponsor.

Come out and cheer for your favorite team. Wax on!

    Team Beer/ WaxOn Wax Off
    April 10th – 6:30 to 10:00pm
    WaxOn Spa (734 E Burnside)

Jonathan Maus (Publisher/Editor)

Jonathan Maus (Publisher/Editor)

Founder of BikePortland (in 2005). Father of three. North Portlander. Basketball lover. Car driver. If you have questions or feedback about this site or my work, contact me via email at maus.jonathan@gmail.com, or phone/text at 503-706-8804. Also, if you read and appreciate this site, please become a paying subscriber.

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Anonymous
Anonymous
14 years ago

Now That’s livin’! John and the rest of Team Beer, I take my hat, if not my hair, off for you! Plus one for creative sponsorship ideas. Was this hatched around say a few beers? 😉

Kaeta
Kaeta
14 years ago

Hawt.

Dillon
Dillon
14 years ago

Someone should wax “TEAM BEER” on their chest.

Opus the Poet
14 years ago

OK I’m a commuter cyclist that shaves his lower legs during the summer to make the inevitable cuts and scratches from road debris easier to take care of but this is like “Ew, ouch!”

Jeff TB
Jeff TB
14 years ago

Those guys are so lame Jonathan. When are you going to stop giving them attention?

mac
mac
14 years ago

Team ‘not fast enough for it to matter’.

KWW
KWW
14 years ago

nsfw, the infamous waxing scene from 40 yr old virgin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeSuFU36o04

BURR
BURR
14 years ago

there’s also some good waxing goin’ on in Season Two of Californication, esp. in the bonus outtakes on the DVD

Case
Case
14 years ago

Oh geez people, it’s not that bad. Legs are a little uncomfortable but it can’t be worse than your DNF’s last season mac. 🙂

Racer XXX
Racer XXX
14 years ago

Great poster, but No thanks…give me a chain guard, wool and fenders anyday. 😉

Now if there was a co-ed series…perhaps…I might buy tickets.

revphil
14 years ago

bring a camera?

Jeff TB
Jeff TB
14 years ago

Sorry Rev, no cameras allowed. Some are more modest than others.