This week’s questions comes from reader Joe W.
Joe has a problem. His friend is a “car addict” and Joe wants to help him quit, but it’s a sensitive subject. Can you help? Here’s Joe’s question:
“I’m trying to figure out how to help a car addict quit, or at least use responsibly. I’ve found, at least with this person, that conversations around this topic quickly get personal, and end up accomplishing nothing. A lifetime of using has intertwined mode of transportation with self, much like with diet choices (or lack thereof) in many people.
Question(s):
What are some well written, tasteful books, literature, movies, etc. that might help this person? I’m especially interested in things that are less “bike are the best” heavy, and focus more on the overall picture of an un-balanced transportation system. I feel like those would be best received.
I really care about this person, and don’t want to make them feel that they must change; but they’re so addicted it’s sad.
Do you have any tips on how to help someone make that first step towards getting the blinders off? What has worked for you? What hasn’t worked?”
Great question Joe. If your friend likes to read, choose something from the Cars and Alternatives bookshelf in the BikePortland Bookstore. Specifically, you might try How to Live Well Without Owning a Car: Save Money, Breathe Easier, and Get More Mileage Out of Life by Chris Balish.
For educational and inspirational videos about cars, bikes and their respective impacts on our lives, browse around the Streetfilms collection. They just posted a great profile of a regular NYC celebrity who’s been biking around on a old used bike for over 20 years.
Another great first step might be to accompany your friend on a ride. Check the Shift calendar for regularly scheduled, free and fun rides.
I’ve found that just leading by example tends to work. If your friend sees you riding, having fun, staying fit, and enjoying all the benefits of biking, chances are they’ll eventually join you.
What other tips do you have for Joe’s friend? Have you ever tried to wean a friend off car overuse? What works? What doesn’t?
— Learn more in the Ask BikePortland archives and submit your burning bike question to jonathan[at]bikeportland[dot]org.
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Excellent question! I find that it is a tremendous help if a person is made aware of every transportation option that is available to them, and takes the time to learn how they work and what purpose they serve.
My wife and I (who are now officially carfree as of this week, TYVM) saw ditching the car as an obvious choice once we took inventory of all the other options that surrounded us, and realized that they each fulfilled a different part of our transportation needs in different ways.
“but they’re so addicted it’s sad”
I know people like this – they would rather drive then walk to a store that is only two blocks away.
For them, walking/cycling/bus may be a status issue. They have worked really hard to afford the privilege to not have to walk. This is often why is gets so personal.
Rather then decrying the problems with driving, instead show them the joys of riding. Invite them out for a ride. Especially on a nice spring day – with other friends who enjoy it.
As a recovering addict myself I can identify with your friend. 🙂 Eco-guilt trips never work. Financial and health motivations work fairly well, however having fun with a group of cycling friends works the best by far. Jonathan has some great recommendations above. The shift calendar is a great place to find events for seeing Portland in a whole new way.
My partner also just published a new e-book called “Simply Car-free” documenting our adventures in transitioning to alternative modes of transportation such as cycling. Similar to Chris Balish she discusses ideas on grocery shopping, running errands, commuting to work and visiting friends without depending on cars. 🙂
Cheers and Good luck! 🙂
Logan.
No better cure than giving the gift of a $50 Zipcar membership, in exchange for the addict’s car keys.
This doesn’t require the addict to go “cold turkey,” but gives him/her every incentive (about $8/hour’s worth…) to only drive when they really need to.
People who pay by the hour for car access drive, on average, 67% fewer miles than they did when they owned a car. They still go places, but they take the bus, walk, or ride a bike whenever it’s practical and cost effective.
This is why Zipcar’s “Low Car Diet” promotion is so effective. It shows people how easy, economical and health-promoting it is to live without a private automobile.
They also save most of the $500-ish/month that they had (in depreciation, insurance, repairs and gas) that they previously paid to own their car.
It sounds nuts, but the best way to get people OUT OF their cars, is to give them access to a whole fleet of them — by the hour.
Don’t buy it? Read some of the research on http://www.carsharing.net. Or do a search for Susan Shaheen’s academic studies on the effects of car-sharing on driving behavior.
Any recovering addict will tell you that the first step to change is admitting that they have a problem. If your friend doesn’t see his driving as a problem then your friend won’t change.
Giving them literature, movies, etc, about how great bikes are only comes off as sanctimonious and intrusive.
As Jonathan said, leading by example is the best way. As is inviting the person (in a non-pressuring way) to go for a bike ride.
The self-satisfied, condescending attitude of some bicyclists to those that drive cars probably does almost as much to drive off potential bike users as does the fear of getting run over or the fear of getting wet.
If the subject is already a touchy one between you it may be hard to use books and movies to make your case. Instead, how about arranging to go somewhere with them without driving, like walking to a local store, taking public transit somewhere or (if they own one) biking somewhere? Before you propose these activities make sure to do a little research beforehand to ensure it will be a good experience. For example, if you’re biking plan the route to avoid high traffic or steep hills; if you’re on public transit, check the schedule to make sure you’re don’t end up waiting at a stop for 45 minutes, etc. Finally (and this is sometimes one for me), don’t try and convince them how great this experience is while you’re doing it. Just let them figure it out (either way) for themselves.
I never felt bad about driving and don’t feel bad about the driving I still do. I do all my commuting and many errands by bike because I’ve discovered it’s much more enjoyable. Riding a bike is fun, even in the rain. Driving a car in town isn’t. Public transportation is the opposite of fun. It helps that I can get to work a few minutes quicker than by car, but that wouldn’t motivate me sufficiently if biking were equally unpleasant.
My advice would be to get your friend to try it. Help them understand that the best route by car almost never is the best route by bike. Cars want to go on fast arterials with lots of other cars. Bikes want to go on parallel streets with little traffic.
I think Gabriel (#2) has the right idea. Don’t treat it like an alternative mode of transportation–yet. Just get them to go out for some “recreational” rides, wherein you may stop at a coffee shop or bakery to “replenish your energy”–bingo, you’ve essentially run an errand on a bike. Get them to enjoy riding as a fun pastime; if they really enjoy riding in and of itself, then you can ply them with “why-not-make-more-mundane-everyday-trips-into-fun-rides” logic.
Sorry, my response was a little bike-centric, but the same tactics could possibly apply to other modes. Take MAX or the bus to some downtown activity on a weekend and make note of how easy it is when you don’t have to negotiate the complexities of driving downtown–or look for the perfect (ever-more-expensive) parking space…
Maybe you could read your friend supporting passages from the Bible, that way you could get yourself the rarely-achieved 2 conversions for the price of 1.
After you convert your friend you could stand on the Corner of 82nd and Sandy and shout at the car-addicted masses as they drive by, think about how many more addicts you’d save that way?
Here’s a hint: not everybody is going to like your lifestyle or believe in what you believe. If you’ve given it a go and they’re not responsive, then you can say you’ve done your best and move on. A friend of mine was concerned that I was an atheist because, after all, atheists don’t go to heaven. He invited me to his church, sent me books making the case for Jesus etc. I politely told him that I respected his faith, but that I didn’t believe, and that no rational argument would likely convert me. Eventually we fell apart because most of our interactions involved him trying to convert me. If you don’t think you can be friends with a “car addict” then I guess you have nothing to lose, but if you value the friendship maybe you should just accept that he’s not ready to change and move on.
While your use of the phrase “addicted” is over the top, how is your friend addicted? What sort of trips does your friend make that you think can be made by bike or foot or transport? Does your friend even have a bike, know how to ride? Does your friend walk anywhere? Where does your friend live? What daily trips (work, school) does your friend make and is it reasonable to make those trips by a mode other than car?
I would not even talk about “an unbalanced transportation” system if it gets personal when you bring up the issue and I wouldn’t bring up the issue directly by giving your friend some “literature.” If I were your friend, I would be offended by that and probably entrench in my “addiction,” as you put it. Is there a bar, restaurant, entertainment venue near your friend’s place that you both could walk to in lieu of your friend driving (bonus if your friend likes to drink excessively, no chance for a dui).
I too was a car addict: I got my license the day I turned sixteen and drove EVERYWHERE until about 2 years ago. I actually cried when I gave up my car because it felt like I was loosing a part of my identity.
How did I do it? 1) An urban home. 2) A sweet new bike. 3) A partner who gave me encouragement about how bikes are fun, sexy and will help us live longer. 4) A bus pass from work to supplement the bike on the nastiest weather days. 5) A Zipcar membership for those longer or more heavy-laden journeys.
That’s it. It’s been almost two years and I do not miss my car one bit. I’ve saved at least $5k on car expenses and my blood pressure has dropped over 20 points.
As a friend, I’d recommend letting people come to the conclusion on their own that driving less means a better way of life. This is not something that can be rushed or forced. If you really love this person, you could buy them a hot new bike, or you could just spring the $20 for a book of bus tickets to keep for them in the wallet/purse.
I always keep a good condition, general purpose bicycle, in an average size around. I lend it out, to a friend that wants to experience Portland on two wheels. The results have been spectacular so far. They often decide, to get their own bicycle, and dedicate more time riding!
I agree, a ride is just what he needs, especially if he has a convertible. Go with him, a nice long ride in the country, maybe the beach, if he’s married his wife may want to go to the mall, perhaps the drag races ar PIR might be fun. A ride is really quite relaxing. Perhaps then a car wash and wax followed up with a trip to the drive in.
Maybe this is part of the next step after the above recommendations, but connecting your friend to the BTA’s and the city’s various bike buddy and commuter workshops could help overcome the practical barriers — how do I get where I need to go safely? (bycycle.org is essential here, too, of course.) How do I stay dry? what if I get a flat? how do I bike to work and not arrive unpresentable?
When I moved to Portland, I emailed the city’s bike office, and Roger Geller mailed me a bunch of info pamphlets that were invaluable, and then I went on various city sponsored group rides to learn my way around in the company of knowledgeable others.
Maybe show him rather than just telling. You could accompany him to one of the sunday parkways events this summer. Or take him over to clever cycles and show how “normal” people use bikes to go shopping, take the kids to school, etc.
I guess this is all related to the practicalities rather than a shift in consciousness and mentality, but the unspoken assumption that biking is fringe or impractical may underlie his psychological resistance.
What a good friend you are to try this! good luck.
maybe you could strap him in a chair and force him to watch “Breaking away” over, and over, and over….
Introducing a newbie to cycling, MAX, walking, or bus is about showing them the ropes. Maybe they have no idea how to access these other forms of transportation. Small steps is the key. As other folks have commented already, ride with them on a low key jaunt to a coffee shop. Take MAX to the Hollywood Theater if that is easily accessible.
It might be realistic that they are able to choose an alternative mode of getting from here to there 1x/week. If more people could make one less car trip per week, I can only imagine all of the good that could come out of that one small change. Habits can be hard to break.
My boyfriend and I had a great day on Sunday of being car free. We rode our bikes from Beaverton to Club Sport in Tualatin, rock climbed indoors, rode to John Barleycorn’s ( McMenamins), rode home, walked to MAX later that evening to catch a flick at the Hollywood, and MAXed it back. What we did isn’t realistic for a lot of people, but it was FUN!!
Does it still count if you ride the MAX?
The great thing about Portland is that it makes it easy to present a bike as a positive alternative. Portland’s streets – especially its old tree-lined, neighborhood side streets – are better experienced by bicycle than by car.
And I can see it from both sides. While I don’t qualify as a “car junkie,” I have quite an extensive motoring history, with a long-time fondness for going fast down country roads (I blame the Dukes of Hazzard). And I’m more prone to laziness than I like to admit. Luckily I also love bicycling, especially if I can feel safe while riding, and if I can ride without sweating and wheezing too much.
That’s a big part of why I live in Portland; its pleasant avenues and short trip distances helps make what I think is the better transportation choice the more enjoyable transportation choice. I enjoy riding my bicycle in Portland as much as, if not more than, I’ve ever enjoyed riding a motorcycle through the countryside.
If you can present this sort of positive take on biking to your friend, that might go a long way. A summer night ride through bike boulevards to a brew pub theater (he said, displaying an obvious bias), or like someone mentioned, Sunday Parkways. Like: come along and do this fun thing we happen to be doing on our bikes.
Weaning someone from a car? That’s a tricky one. I have a dislike for trying to sway other people’s values in general, and I don’t know anybody who likes being proselytized to.
And cars have such a ridiculously powerful emotional pull. Not only have they been given the aura of something that is vital to our day-to-day existence (in this country, at least, you’re made to fee like you need a car to get to work, period), but they grant us what are essentially superpowers: super-speed, super-strength. Not to mention the ability to spew toxic, planet-altering gases in large quantities.
People describe bike advocates being “anti-car,” as if objecting to the effect autos have on the world is tantamount to disparaging a religion, or some comparable deeply-held belief. There are big feelings surrounding the issue.
Anyway. There was a book I read a long while back called “Divorce Your Car.” It was so long ago that I can’t remember if it would be useful in this context (though I know I liked the book well enough that I still have a “Divorce Your Car sticker on my bike). I saw a talk by the author, and I remember that she specifically tried to steer away from the addiction metaphor. She saw car ownership more like a dysfunctional marriage – there’s love there, but ultimately it’s not a healthy relationship. Maybe that’s a more useful way to think about it.
what if you succeeded and he got smashed by a car, or had a heart attack? He probably would have been better off if he was left alone.
Makes think of the shot from the Disney movie ‘The Shaggy Dog’: kid arrives at a suburban residence on a quiet little neighborhood street in a hotrod jalopy to pick up his girl. No traffic on the street at all.
That done, with the two of them in the jalopy, he fires it up to pick up her girlfriend…25′ directly across the street from where the car is parked. He just does a quick u-turn to get there.
I would avoid bike evangelism. It’s condescending to assume that you know better than someone else, how to run their own life. No matter how “right” you are (hint: EVERYBODY thinks they’re right) or how good your intentions. Besides, if biking is really the superior mode of transport, then it shouldn’t need a sales pitch, because the truth of its awesomeness can’t help but become self-evident. Right? The fact is, it’s not so clear-cut. Driving a car offers numerous advantages too. Biking is strenuous, slow, dirty, wet, cargo-limited, and is culturally seen as nerdy and dangerous. May as well acknowledge these things. The only way this person will ever change their mind is if they get to experience and notice the disadvantages of the car and the advantages of the bike. I’ll leave that up to you what that means or how to facilitate its happening. Don’t try too hard! Leading by example is the best hope, but if you want to engage them more actively, then let it be more of an invitation/welcoming than a brow-beating. I highly concur with the idea of keeping a spare “guest” bike around and inviting the friend to go on a short ride.
I think you have done your part if have provided him the information, Joe. As a mental health professional, it would be easy for me to use the jargon, but I won’t. Here is one thing that may work, though. Find a knowledgeable auto mechanic and have him/her explain how hard it is on a car to drive it under 1-2 miles. And, give your friend the specifics of what it does. This may help, but it may not.
I have a friend that lives in Cedar Hills and drives his car 1.5 miles or so to Sunset Transit stop to take MAX to work downtown. And, he thinks he is Mr. Green for doing it even though he could walk 3 blocks to catch a bus that goes there or walking would be mile. He has a bike that I have offered more than once to give a tune up, but he refuses and has multiple excuses from it will get stolen to it’s not safe to ride in traffic. He just does not want to give up the car and not sure why.
I do like the ideas of others taking him for a leisurely bike ride or showing him the ropes of using tri-met. But, again just offer and see if he takes it. Getting in a power struggle will not get you anywhere and just make him defensive and less likely to accept any education you provide.
If you have trouble relating to people that seem “addicted to their cars… think about it in terms of cellphone use. If someone told you that cellphone use was contributing to environmental destruction, and was implicated in health and mental disorders would you give up your cell phone? What? You can’t live without it? But are you crazy? What’s stopping you? Do you need your friends to start needling you about it? Well I’ve got some literature for you to read, and a movie to see. I’m sure that will help you stop doing what I don’t like you doing.
Well, I think we all mean well, and we all want to help, but I doubt this person will go car free, and maybe that shouldn’t be the goal.
#5 is right, the person needs to want to change before they truly will.
I often suggest to friends simple rides, to replace the car, start small, a summer ride to dinner/movie/bar. Then move up a little, grocery shopping or some errands that involve carrying things.
Then, rather than encouraging my friends to quit driving, I take the next small step and suggest they improve their gas mileage by 20%, by riding to work one day a week, not every day and not forever, but just once a week. To the “non-cyclist” this seems doable, it is small, incremental, and leaves lots of options, can’t ride on Wednesday, well okay then how about Thursday, etc..
FDR said, “A good leader can’t get too far ahead of his followers. ”
so lead your friend to the side of justice, righteousness and fun, but do it in small small steps and soon they too will be converting people.
If the steps are small enough, they won’t even seem like steps.
And, just a couple more things:
Remember with something like “car addiction,” there are no imminent negative consequences along with it. Sure, we can all name some consequences, but your friend is not going to get fired for driving a car. The spouse will (hopefully) not file for divorce and DHS is not going to come take the kids away. In other words, it makes it much more difficult.
Secondly, timing is everything. Now, I know we have had a nice winter, but telling a friend to ditch the car when it has rained 6 consecutive days is going to make it a lot more difficult.
Like #25 said, just small steps.
Organize an intervention, an ambush lock-in where friends and loved ones share in frank words how your friend’s car addiction has been hurting them. Be sure the have a professional car counselor in the room, and a pedi-cab waiting to transport him to a residential rehab facility, preferably within a 3-mile ride.
Thanks for the linkage BikePortland. 🙂
“How to live well without owning a car” is an excellent book, written by a tv journalist who lives (or did at the time, anyway) in St. Louis. A self-identified “regular guy” who sold his SUV one weekend, and, not thinking it would sell so quickly, was carless for work on Monday. He figured he’d give it a go before getting a compact car…never went back to the MV.
This book might be a good choice for someone who gets defensive at the thought of making some lifestyle changes. I didn’t read the comments above, but, remember: this is a HUGE change for most folks (as all addictions are), so be gentle, model good, positive behavior, keep in mind relapses will happen, and you might just have a friend in recovery soon enough!
Apparently I didn’t read the article very well, either. My apologies for the double reference, but I guess that makes a double-endorsement.
#10 has a good point. Too much pushy evangelism is possibly going to make him feel unaccepted by you, and defensive.
Books and resources are good, but I agree with the folks who suggest riding places with your friend. Practice vs. theory at this point.
I really believe most people who get out and ride will soon start to *feel* the benefits, and it will start to feel so good that they will actually crave time on the bicycle. So, you just have to help show him how easy and rewarding it is…by riding with him.
Maybe start with some fun social group rides…or map out his route to work for him and ride with him to work.
1) Borrow a good, kickass bike that you know will fit them and will be comfortable for them to ride.
2) Pick a gorgeous, sunshine-filled day
3)Invite (aka gently and playfully DRAG) them out on a fun, relaxed bikeride along say, the Springwater Trail
4) Bring a picnic. With chocolate.
5) Do not at any point, bring up transportation politics, the environment, or anything else during this bikride.
5) Have lots of pedaling fun!
sheldon brown has always had the smart ass twist on the best knowledge i’ve read regarding bikes, and is also incredibly easy to understand, and is one of the few out there that teaches how to get it done, even without the right tools.
if you’re friend’s into gassers, hotrods, choppers, ed hardy, ed roth, and sailor jerry, turn him on to freakbikes, most of us dig that scene, but prefer bikes. obviously if he’s the go fast type, road and track racing, gettin dirty? singletrack, dj, XC and CX.
or just let him know that some of the most badass, fun, and beautiful women in this city are cyclists.
No one likes being judged or nagged. The key is making alternatives seem easy, fun and normal, so that car use gradually recedes into its proper place as an occasional treat/necessity. Check the Shift calendar and find the bike event that will be irresistible to your friend. Does s/he love food? Find a taco truck ride or the like. Nature? Head to Smith & Bybee Lakes or the Columbia Slough (bonus points if you bring a canoe by bike). Service? Try out a Friends of Trees bike planting event. Or, if you think transit/walking would be more palatable, check out the fantastic Metro Walk There book for transit-accessible walks (http://bit.ly/3Zcfzy). One favorite is the “4 T – Trail, Tram, Trolley, Trail” walk (http://bit.ly/1jtjMG [PDF]). Casually offer up bike maps and invite him/her to go to bike stores with you. But no pressure sell or s/he’ll get defensive, which will make it much harder to make progress.
What changed me was the fitness factor, I was getting lazy, needed something to at least keep me from getting fat. But I am a busy guy, and when I did a quick analysis of how much it would take to drive to the gym after work, how much itd cost and the fact Id have to share equipment the bike was a no brainer. I already owned it I found out it takes me an extra 5 min to work at most. That 10 min a day and near free to stay reasonably in shape. Compared to the 20-50 a month for a gym, plus time to drive out of my way to it. An added benefit is I remembered why I loved riding as a kid and am actually happier (driving is infuriating all to often).
If he’s a geek or gearhead, by all means use those attractions as a motive. But I’ve found that one obstacle to new adopters is the sense that they have to have the right (expensive) gear and lots of knowledge. In Portland, as in Europe, there are plenty of people who really know or care little about bikes and bike culture and just want a convenient, cheap way to get around, so you could show him that there are plenty of bikes these days where you basically just have to jump on and ride, maybe take it into the shop for routine maintenance once a year. They come with fenders, puncture resistant tires, chain guard, back rack, lights, etc etc. so you don’t have to do anything but ride.
Assure him that you don’t need special clothes or anything — with the exception of helmet, portable airpump (maybe a patch kit but even that might be a little intimidating to a newbie), and good, breathable rain gear, including a waterproof pannier if he’s gonna be carrying stuff. He can use that stuff for hiking, too, and even with the bike and helmet, it’s a lot cheaper than a car.
Oh, and don’t fall into the either/or, car-free vs. all-car false dichotomy, which a couple of my friends of have done when they ask me why I bike everywhere. I tell ’em just use the bike for short trips in nice weather at first and gradually increase them as they learn more and get in better bike shape. Eventually maybe they’ll move to zipcar and public transit for their other trips. But at first, assure them that the car can still be there as a kind of security blanket and, let’s face it, there are times when it’s the best option for many people, the way American cities, including parts of Portland, are currently configured. If they don’t feel like they have to sacrifice the only transportation they’ve known, they’re more likely to try something new. Let us know how it works out!
As someone who is fairly mode agnostic (and enjoys working on both bikes and cars), I guess I somewhat disagree with your religious approach to the whole topic, or (as mentioned before) at least we need some more information.
Does this person live in an easily bikable area, do they tie their car ownership to their social status, are they a hobby mechanic, do they enjoy driving for the sheer “pleasure” of it, are they in poor physical health, do they even own a bike? Each person has their own set of values and priorities that must be overcome if they are to explore other modes. There are a few good reasons why someone might never give up car ownership, and then a bunch of excuses.
Often on BP we seem to make assumptions that car ownership is expensive, where it really can be very affordable – cars can be bought for less than $1000 (less than some bikes), and insurance really is only about $40/month if you have a good driving record. Driving 10 miles across town can easily cost less in fuel than a Tri-Met ticket. I have found that if someone’s financial means allow them to own and operate a motor vehicle with little marginal expense, then it is virtually impossible to make a case for switching completely unless they are persuaded by either pressure from their self-identified peer group or some sort of enviro/moral guilt. Unfortunately, you seem to be trying to use guilt to overcome what might be a rational decision for this person.
I for one, simply enjoy the mechanical challenge of fixing and operating older machines of all types, regardless of whether they are combustion, electric, or human powered. I will always be addicted to cars, just as I will always be addicted to bikes – I think it is surely possible to have multiple addictions, both healthy and not.