Enjoy the holidays with these bikey carols

I hope all of you are enjoying the Holidays. Here’s to family, friends, and that other stuff that makes this time of year so memorable.

I’ve got some family in town and I’m doing my best to stop thinking about bike stuff (it’s harder than you might think).

After Christmas, I’m headed down to California for a family reunion, and I won’t be back at BikePortland headquarters until January 2nd.

I’ll miss the traditional New Year’s Day Ride (I went last year and had a blast).

But I’ll be back in time to be the special guest of Ayleen Crotty and Tori Bortman on the KBOO Bike Show on January 3rd (what a great way to start the New Year!).

Wherever you are this holiday, you can spread the love of bikes with the ones you love, by printing out these classic, bike-inspired
Christmas Carols (below). They were written by Portland bike culture veterans Jim Waigand, Amy Stork, and Jeff Bernards and made popular by Timo, Ben, Wes and Ken of the Trash Mountain Boys.

Click the titles to navigate down the page:

I Saw Popo Ticket Santa Claus
Climate Change is Coming to Town
Ring Your Bells
Bicycle Rock
Bikes for the World
Deck the Road with Tons of Cyclists
Rudolph the Red-nosed Cyclist
O Come all ye cyclists
Twelve Days of Christmas

I Saw Popo Ticket Santa Claus
(to the tune of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”)
[new lyrics by Timo]
I Saw Popo Ticket Santa Claus
Outside Rocco’s Pizza Sunday night
He was wearing red and green, and riding his 16
He had his reindeer posse but the pepper were so mean

Then I heard Popo cursing Santa Claus
When they realized what they done weren’t right
All you nutty boys in blue
There’ll be nothin’ but coal for you
Then I heard Popo cursing Santa Claus
When they realized what they done weren’t right

I Saw Popo Ticket Santa Claus
Outside Rocco’s Pizza Sunday night
He was coming back from the Zoo
With an antlered friend or two
He said to Rudolph, “Grab your cell
And call the ACLU”

Then I heard Popo cursing Santa Claus
When they realized what they done weren’t right
All you overzealous cops
Will find anthracite in your socks
Then I heard Popo cursing Santa Claus
When they realized what they done weren’t right

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Climate Change is Coming to Town
(To the tune of Santa Claus is coming to town)

You better watch out, you better not drive
You better ride bikes I’m telling you why
Climate change is coming to town

We’re making it hot, we’re raising the sea
Gonna feel life at a hundred degrees
Climate change is coming to town

If people keep on driving
The poles will soon be lakes
The air will stink like petrol fumes
Ride your bike for goodness sake

We’re making a list, we’re checking it twice
We’re gonna find out who drove and who biked!
Climate change is coming to town

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Ring Your Bells
(to the tune of Jingle Bells)

Dashing through the rain, on a pedaling machine
Over the streets we go, biking keeps us lean, oh ho ho
Horns on Hondas beep, testing our resolve
But oh what fun it is to ride, cutting down on smog!

Ring your bell, ring your bell, biking all the way!
Oh what fun, it is to ride a two-wheeled Chevrolet!
Hey!

Portland winter’s wet, with puddles everywhere
Splashing cars behind, but why do I care?
I’ve got fenders on, keeping my ass dry
Oh what fun it is to ride, it’s a natural high!

Ring your bell, ring your bell, biking all the way!
Oh what fun, it is to ride a two-wheeled Chevrolet!

People think we’re odd, riding on our bikes
But we know we’re cool, ‘cause this is what we like
Breathing clean and free, letting go of hate
We are riding bicycles because it feels so great!

Ring your bell, ring your bell, biking all the way!
Oh what fun, it is to ride a two-wheeled Chevrolet!

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Bicycle Rock
(to the tune of Jingle Bell Rock)

Bicycle, bicycle, bicycles rock
Bicycles roll and bicycles go
Spinning and grinning, it’s baskets of fun
Now the biking age has begun

Bicycle, bicycle, bicycles rock
Cyclist whoop and Cyclists hoot
Pedal and revel in Courthouse Square
In the misty air

What a bright time, it’s the right time
To bike the night away
Bicycle time is a cool time
To go riding on a two-wheeled sleigh

Giddy up, iron horse, don’t be a poke
Bicycle round the clock
Mix and mingle with your jingling spokes

That’s the bicycle
That’s the bicycle
That’s the bicycle rock!

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Bikes for the World
(to the tune of Joy to the World)

Bikes for the world! The time has come
Let earth receive clean air
Let every heart, beat steadily
And heaven and nature sing
And heaven and nature sing
And heaven and heaven and nature sing

Bikes rule the road, with speed and grace
And make our nation free
From oil rigs and corporate greed
So ride your bicycle
So ride your bicycle
So ride, so ride your bicycle!

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Deck the Road with Tons of Cyclists
(to the dune of Deck the Halls)

Deck the road with tons of cyclists
Fa la la la la la, la la la la
Tis the season for idealists
Fa la la la la la, la la la la
Don we now our rain apparel
Fa la la la la la, la la la la
Call your friend his name is Harold
Fa la la la la la, la la la la
Grab your helmet and your u-lock
Fa la la la la la, la la la la
Join the sheep who’ve left the flock
Fa la la la la la, la la la la
Hitch your trailer to your seat post
Fa la la la la la, la la la la
To the store to get some French Roast
Fa la la la la la, la la la la
Pedal til the old year passes
Fa la la la la la, la la la la
Cold air fogging up your glasses
Fa la la la la la, la la la la
Summer soon will come again
Fa la la la la la, la la la la
Just keep riding with the wind
Fa la la la la la, la la la la

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O Come all ye cyclists
(To the tune of o come all ye faithful)

O Come all ye cyclists,
joyful and triumphant
O come ye, o come ye by bicycle

Come and behold them
See what fun they’re having
O come let us stop driving
O come let us start riding
O come let us start riding
Our bicycles

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Rudolph the Red-nosed Cyclist

Rudolph the red-nosed cyclist
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it (saw it)
You would even say it glowed.

All of the silly drivers
Used to laugh and call him names (like a Masshole)
They never let poor Rudolph (Rudolph)
Take the center of the lane

Then one smoggy Christmas eve
Santa came to say
Rudolph with your healthy thighs
Won’t you pull my sleigh tonight?

Then all the children loved him
And they shouted out with glee (with glee)
Rudolph the red-nosed cyclist
Won’t you come and ride with me!

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Twelve days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A tandem with a spare seat

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Two handlebars and

Etc…..
Three inner tubes
Four pedals shining
Five times the fun
Six pack (or six Pabsts) for drinking
Seven days of riding
Eight bells for ringing
Nine lights a blinking
Ten spokes a spinning
Eleven cables snaking
Twelve gears for shifting

…and a tandem with a spare seat.

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Jonathan Maus (Publisher/Editor)

Jonathan Maus (Publisher/Editor)

Founder of BikePortland (in 2005). Father of three. North Portlander. Basketball lover. Car driver. If you have questions or feedback about this site or my work, contact me via email at maus.jonathan@gmail.com, or phone/text at 503-706-8804. Also, if you read and appreciate this site, please become a paying subscriber.

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dave
dave
17 years ago

I’m a regular reader of your site, interesting reading about Portland.

If you’re in LA when you come down south, and have the time, check out the Midnight Ridazz site and the bike boom site for bicycle events.

http://www.midnightridazz.com/

http://bikeboom.com/webcalendar/month.php

adam
adam
17 years ago

can anyone name a bigger bike dork than the author of this post? me neither.

keep it up jonathan.

I am tempted to rewrite little drummer boy in to little bikey blog but, you know, I don’t like irony.

Will Workforf Ood
17 years ago

DORKS!!!?!!!

Yeah being a famous clown I meet all sorts of crazed cycle enthusisisists but not many of them re-write christmas carols as well as this Jonathan Fellow.

Infact the only person i know that dorky will be hosting at least one more anti-corporate carolling event in sunny NE PDX this year. Who might it be..? none other than portlands very dorky carol writing Capitan Caffiene Jones

Stay tuned to clownhouse.org For the next update on this and other exciting news..

Shawn Kielty
17 years ago

That was fun (albeit seriously bikedorkey) — Happy Christmas and New Year!

el timito
17 years ago

Hey thanks for spreading the bike dork love!
Just a small correction, for those who were confused… the second part of the lyric to “I Saw Popo Ticket Santa Claus” goes like this:

Then I heard Popo cursing Santa Claus
When they realized what they done weren’t right
All you nutty boys in blue
There’ll be nothin’ but coal for you
~After ticketing Santa Claus last night

(…All you overzealous cops
There’ll be anthracite in your socks
~After ticketing Santa Claus last night)

Jonathan – My apologies for the funky file the first time!

For the historians among us, the song is based on a true story – Shift list archives tell the tale:
http://lists.riseup.net/www/arc/shift/2003-09/msg00018.html (Randy’s description)
http://lists.riseup.net/www/arc/shift/2003-09/msg00041.html (Ben’s letter to mayor, and Vera’s reply – the source of the infamous “pigpile” reference)