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Movie spoof says Sandy Blvd is the “worst street ever”

Posted by on September 24th, 2012 at 2:35 pm

A spoof movie trailer making the local Internet rounds today has transportation wonks crying with laughter. The trailer is for a film dubbed “Sandy Blvd.” and the premise is simple: “Sandy is the worst F#$%I* street ever!” If you watch the clip below at work, just be forewarned there is a lot of profanity.

Anyone that has tried to drive or bike or cross NE Sandy Blvd will relate to this. On a similar note, I’ve reported in the past that, despite its risks and annoyances, Sandy Blvd remains a popular bikeway for some due to its direct connection between downtown and various neighborhoods. Being diagonal is convenient once you’re on it; but that’s also what makes many of its intersections difficult to cross and to navigate.

Too bad bikes didn’t make it into the trailer. Even so, it’s hilarious!

— This trailer is directed by A.Z. Chandler and will appear with many others at Spectravagasm from October 5th through the 27th at Milepost 5.

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  • Kurt Kemmerer September 24, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    I don’t find bicycling on Sandy to be enjoyable, and I do find the “trailer” hilarious. Still, Sandy is not the worst street in Portland, by far. Heck, Foster can take Sandy down as the worst street, and it only two blocks to do it.

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    • John Lascurettes September 24, 2012 at 4:38 pm

      Indeed. I go through the problem intersection in the video at least once a month. I would completely hesitate to ride SE Foster or SE Powell from the 50s and up.

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      • Travis September 24, 2012 at 5:10 pm

        The video is geared towards cars. While cycling on Sandy is no Sunday picnic (unless it is Sunday, when Sandy is pretty okay), attempting to make a turn on to Sandy or, in some places, a turn off of Sandy is a major chore. Intersection after intersection Sandy presents unique problems: the new the Burnside/Sandy mess, 84, Hollywood, Fremont/Sandy, etc etc etc.

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        • Kurt Kemmerer September 24, 2012 at 5:27 pm

          What “new” Burnside/Sandy mess?

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          • Travis September 24, 2012 at 5:37 pm

            Ha. Technically it is a new Sandy/Couch/14th Avenue mess.

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            • John Lascurettes September 24, 2012 at 5:53 pm

              “Sandy Couch” tee hee.

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            • Oliver September 25, 2012 at 11:32 am

              Sandy-Burnside-Anchorage-Mogadishu-Tatooine intersection mess.

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      • 9watts September 25, 2012 at 11:29 am

        ” I would completely hesitate to ride SE Foster or SE Powell from the 50s and up.”
        Really? Say more. I ride Foster all the time. The street is ugly as sin out there, but I don’t feel that it is any more dangerous than many other streets. Making a left turn to get onto that bike route heading East at Ellis & 84th was exciting, but it was my first time and I wasn’t sure where exactly that turn would be so I merged later than the asshole coming up behind me thought acceptable.

        Powell is downright relaxing out past the fifties.

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  • Bartelby September 24, 2012 at 4:24 pm

    Hey! I saw that on Reddit this morning as well. (x-post /r/Portland)

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  • shannon September 24, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    I just laughed so hard.

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  • Lenny Anderson
    Lenny Anderson September 24, 2012 at 5:32 pm

    The real horror is all that brand new asphalt and fresh paint east of Hollywood that screams cars, cars, cars, with nary a place for bikes, peds or life of the real kind. Its a multi million dollar dead street designed for those who live out beyond somewhere.

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    • Travis September 24, 2012 at 5:45 pm

      Or it is a quick route to the airport when 84 is backed-up. Hardly a dead end street and I am all for serving outer NE and SE Portland. Just wish it served those of us who lived close-in a little more safely. Really only a huge issue during the rush hours. Not sure we’ll solve that without getting more folks out of their cars and not commuting from one burb to another burb. A regional planning and tax break issue as much as it is a poorly designed road. Wait, isn’t that the CRC problem too?

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      • Spiffy September 25, 2012 at 7:34 am

        put a traffic diverter on Sandy and the traffic will go down… people will either choose to stay in stopped rush hour traffic or they’ll get wise to other transportation options…

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  • Jrdpdx September 24, 2012 at 6:59 pm

    Wow that’s great. I live 2 blocks from sandy and only take it 4 times a year when I go to work (downtown) at 6 am. It’s crazy fast then, but in the light of day I would never get on it. As others commented the new pavement is super sweet but I marvel and cringe when I see bikes cruising along w the horrid traffic.

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  • Kiel Johnson
    Kiel Johnson September 24, 2012 at 7:57 pm


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  • GlowBoy September 24, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    I used to occasionally commute on Sandy, back in the late 90s when I worked around 120th/Sandy. It was by far the most direct route, and few streets had bike lanes back then. It was maybe marginally more hostile than other routes, due to high vehicle speeds, so I didn’t always ride it … but I only remember being honked/yelled at once.

    BTW, what if we ripped Sandy out, from 14th to 39th? Would anyone miss it?

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  • o/o September 24, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    it is not too bad as long as you keep going straight… sometimes it looks way wide on quiet nights.

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  • chasingbackon September 24, 2012 at 10:27 pm

    Congrats on the great production

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  • Tylerw September 25, 2012 at 12:54 am

    This is full of win. That white haired planner guy is genius.

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  • aaron September 25, 2012 at 8:09 am

    A big ol’ roundabout would fix that right up… maybe?

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    • Rick Potestio September 25, 2012 at 11:48 am

      ya think?????

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  • Dave September 25, 2012 at 9:09 am

    I moved to POrtland in the late 1970’s. I worked for a company on Sandy Blvd. for almost twenty years after that. After all those years walking, driving, and cycling that street four or five days a week, nobody will EVER convince me that Portland’s traffic engineering department is a drug free workplace–this has to be the work of chemically affected minds. Acid on the job? Maybe. The wrong mushrooms on their salads at lunch? Could be. Does anyone who works for the city know if the traffic department offices have extra-strength exhaust fans so as to clear the smoke from the work stations? Just curious.

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  • Hugh Johnson September 25, 2012 at 6:47 pm

    This could possibly be the best thing I’ve ever seen on BikePortland. Brilliant! SANDY SUCKS!

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  • mk September 27, 2012 at 10:47 am

    I work on Sandy and it proves to be the ONE road in Portland I am willing to ride on the sidewalk. I feel so small and invisible on that road, there’s no chance I’d risk making a left turn crossing two lanes of traffic. Here’s to hoping I’ll be able to “leave Sandy” one day!

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