Urban Tribe - Ride with your kids in front.

How about a nice game of ‘Bike Assassin’?

Posted by on May 27th, 2010 at 10:56 am

Hottest Day of the Year Ride

Watch out. This could be
your assassin.
(Photo © J. Maus)

On June 1st, a new game is set to hit Portland’s streets. It’s called ‘Bike Assassin‘ and despite its sort of scary name, it sounds like a lot of fun.

The game is being organized by a guy calling himself “The Big Cheese”. According to Mr. Cheese, each registered player (it’s $5 to join in) gets a profile on another player and you have to find them and “kill” them with a squirt gun. When they “die” they hand over the profile of who they were supposed to kill. “You kill that person next. Last one standing wins.”

Each player’s profile includes a name, photo, a list of safe zones (like your home and work) and “information you’d like in your obituary.” Other weapons can be used, including water balloons and ink markers (but Cheese says if you use as Sharpie and damage someone’s clothing, “you will have to make it right”).

The first game starts June 1st and you have seven days to make at least one attempt to kill your target. After making a kill you must report to Mr. Cheese. If you fail to do so, you will be put on a “Wanted List.” Anyone who breaks rules is placed on the Wanted List and can then be killed by anyone in the game (whether they have your profile or not).

Sounds like fun. Registration for the June 1st game closes 5/31. There will be other games to follow. See the complete list of rules and an FAQ on the Bike Assassin home page.

NOTE: We love your comments and work hard to ensure they are productive, considerate, and welcoming of all perspectives. Disagreements are encouraged, but only if done with tact and respect. If you see a mean or inappropriate comment, please contact us and we'll take a look at it right away. Thank you — Jonathan

  • Did I miss it? Again? May 27, 2010 at 2:16 pm

    Cool. I can’t wait to “kill” some cyclists!
    As I am currently off the bike, and there is no rule to the contrary, I will be assassinating from my car.
    This will protect me from their shots and allow me to carry an industrial sized super soaker.

    Ha! Good times….

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  • Roma May 27, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    From their web site: “…your home and work addresses are mandatory…”

    Um…no thanks.

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  • Tasha May 27, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    Wow, we used to play this in college (though not specifically for bikes, just us Drama geeks). It was fun then!

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  • KWW May 27, 2010 at 9:02 pm

    Can pressure washers be used?

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  • PomPilot May 27, 2010 at 9:07 pm

    Like Tasha, I played this back in my college days. The game could only be played on the campus grounds. The classrooms,library (and bathrooms IIRC) were about the only out of bounds areas. One of my lady friends took me out in my dorm room after helping her with her homework. And she did it with a water loaded FISH!.

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  • brettoo May 28, 2010 at 3:02 am

    Call me a wet blanket but … no, the idea of pretending to kill or assassinate someone, even someone who’s volunteered, even with water pistols (which are fun) just sounds like another aspect of the American glorification of violence. Yes, I sure played with toy soldiers and squirt guns and dart guns as a kid, and I know — just harmless fun, right? Maybe the idea of people casually killing other people so pervades American movies, video games, and real life that this doesn’t even bother anyone else now. Maybe I wouldn’t object so much if they used different terms. But something about it — about those words, at least — sure bothers me. Maybe because we’ve seen way too much of the real thing, and this is an uncomfortable reminder. Sorry to be a party pooper.

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  • the big cheese May 28, 2010 at 4:05 am

    Sweet article. Thanks Jonathan!

    To answer some questions:

    Pressure washers, sure, why not?
    Cars are fine, the game is just targeted to the bike scene/community.

    If you have issues with privacy, stalkers or play violence this definitely not the game for you.

    Also registration for game two will be open shortly. Stay tuned.

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  • Paul Tay May 28, 2010 at 4:54 am

    Brettoo, maybe go do Pie Assissin, hit yer target wit pie? Naaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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  • Paul Tay May 28, 2010 at 4:56 am

    The first rule of Pie Assassin: Don’t talk about it.

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  • thefuture May 28, 2010 at 8:57 am

    So….all our efforts to make biking safe, protecting ourselves against violence and aggression from road rage with thousand pound weapons, and ya’ll are going to bike around pretending to kill each other? Sweet.

    Choose love.

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  • Jack May 28, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    To the wet blankets who think this is too violent, recognize that it is just a game of tag with special rules. The words ‘assassin’ and ‘kill’ are not violent.

    Stop worrying about being ultra-progressive for a while and re-discover what play is.

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  • Paul Tay May 28, 2010 at 9:04 pm

    #10, yep. Bike Hug, anyone? Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Not a chance. Way over da top ultra-progressive gone WILD.

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  • the big cheese May 29, 2010 at 1:31 am

    thanks jack and tay!

    this game has WAY more in common with tag than it does with any sort of violence.

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  • Tricia May 29, 2010 at 8:21 am

    Ditto Jack – I may start a game down here in Sacramento… Watch out Californians!

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  • the big cheese May 29, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    tricia, starting your own game is a great idea!
    if you want some pointers, email me and i will help you get the ball rolling.

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  • Daniel May 31, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    Sounds fun…..until someone mistakes the water pistol for a real gun. I can see the headline now…”Officers gun down Bike Assassin”

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  • jim June 1, 2010 at 12:29 am

    Make sure the toy guns have those red tips on them like in the picture. if you take them off then you might get them confused for a real gun

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  • brettoo June 7, 2010 at 3:08 pm

    If they’d called it Bike Tag, it wouldn’t be upsetting. But they didn’t. It’s not about being “progressive”; it’s about being humane and disappointed that the idea of homicidal violence has permeated our culture so deeply that so many people can’t even see it. That’s what’s really scary. It’s just accepted as normal now.

    Sure, I’d play squirt guns on bikes any time. It’s not the action itself I object to; it’s attaching the imagery and terminology of murder and violence to something fun.
    There are so many examples, much worse than this, that show how Americans live in a culture that glorifies violence, and calling bike tag bike assassin is just one more way of communicating to our kids that that’s acceptable and normal.
    I don’t like it in video games, I don’t like it in mixed martial arts, and I sure don’t like it associated with a vehicle that I believe can make our lives happier and more peaceful.

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  • Jack June 7, 2010 at 3:36 pm


    I’m guessing you’ve never really engaged in video games or martial arts.

    Your perspective has been proven to be based purely on suspect. The facts, which have been proven again and again, are that things like martial arts and video games and movies do NOT encourage real violence.

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  • brettoo June 7, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    Correct, never have engaged in either.
    Never claimed they encourage it, although some recent studies may suggest otherwise. Just saying they reflect it, and make it more acceptable, and that makes me sad.

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  • Glenn January 29, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    Nice article title. “How about a nice game of chess?”

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