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Comment of the Week: How self-driving cars are actually going to work

Buffered Bike Lane with a bike symbol and arrow pointing forward


early-vehicle-lores
(Photo: Google)

Two big issues, gender in the bike world and the nature of Portland bike activism, generated lots of excellent perspectives from readers on the site this week. This one about the “thousand cuts” of being a woman was one of our most upvoted ever; this one early this morning about the recent history of Portland-centric bicycle advocacy groups is very persuasive.

But let’s finish the week on a lighter note, thanks to reader Jake.

Me: “car. Take me to IKEA”
Car: “location not found, please speak new command”
Me: “take me to IKEA…PLEASE. I need a new flimsy bookcase”
Car: “Confirmed. Route set for Fat Cobra”
Me: “What? No, cancel request. New request”
Car: “request cancelled, please state new request”
Me: “take me to IKEA near Airport Way”
Car: “processing request. Setting route for Airport”

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Me: “No not the airport! IKEA! Jesus Christ…”
Car: “cancelling route, rerouting to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints”
Me: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
Car: “request cancelled”
Me: “Take me to the place with the cheap meatballs.”
Car: “setting route for IKEA”
Me: “Thank you. Finally….”
Car: “This vehicle has experienced a malfuncion and is no longer in service. To reset vehicle, open hood and unplug main power supply battery cable. Wait 30 seconds then plug back in and wait for rebooting process to complete. If problem sill exists, call the customer service phone number….which we wont tell you.”

Me: “Fu*k it. I am riding my bike.”

Enough said. Have a great weekend.

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