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Report: Oh Jesus, it’s the Midnight Mystery Ride!

Buffered Bike Lane with a bike symbol and arrow pointing forward


BikePortland intern Dan Liu attended the Jesus Ride followed by the Midnight Mystery Ride last night. Below is his report — also check out his well-captioned photo album.

As one Jesus “Brian” Christ put it, last night was “A perfect night for Jesus”: warm, mostly dry, and with lots and lots of bikes. This holy expedition went from last night’s Bike Porn viewing downhill to the food carts at SE 12th & Hawthorne — a short and holy ride in the search for burritos and poutine. I counted at least 12 unique Jesus-es at last night’s Jesus Cycle Procession, including a strong showing by the Unicycle Bastards. Noting the exploding ranks of Evangelical Christian unicyclists on the internet, Unicycle Bastard and ride organizer Jack called last night’s outing, “A little rebellion against organized religion, without being overly offensive.” Someone quipped, “Why unicycle *for* Jesus when you can unicycle *as* Jesus?”

Most of the unicyclists and Jesus-es were either too inebriated or too full of greasy potatoes to make the Midnight Mystery Ride, which did start from the Pub at the End of the Universe promptly at…well, midnight. The procession of between 120-150 crazed, costumed riders went up Gladstone and Division, glided down 92nd to Powell, climbed over a barrier and hiked up a gravel path to Kelly Butte Park, with ample hilarity, whooping and hollering, and general silliness. In addition James Brown’s cameo appearance during the ride, I hear there were at least two bike-mounted grills put to good use at the top of the hill as well. (For those of you curious about the photos, many of them are handheld, long-exposure shots that are really a testament to how far digital photography has come.)

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