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Zoobomb’s 18th Birthday

August 30, 2020 at 8:30 pm

This Sunday, Aug 30th Portland’s pluckiest bike club celebrates its 18th anniversary. Join the descent as we bring back all the classics: riding bikes*, cheating death** and making merry***.

Zoobomb is a weekly ride from the west hills of Portland into the city. The last Sunday of August our weekly ride gets an social upgrade as we bring out new friends to join us as well as catch up with our venerable “elder bombers” who are rarely seen outdoors.

Face it. You aren’t going to Burning Man and no one else wants to touch that playa crud from 2016, so get your bikes tuned up now. Pump up your tires and lube your chain. We love riding children’s bikes but anything that rolls is fine. You are responsible for your own safety.

If you don’t have a bike you may show up at the Zoobomb Pyle. This is a tribue to cycling in Portland and is the least the city has ever spent on public art. This was made possible by the considerable efforts of prolific artists, Vanessa Renwick and Brian Borrello. If you are there at the right time (approximately 8:20pm last I checked) you may be able to borrow a bicycle from our library, but no guarentees.

Minutes later you will arrive at a Tri-Met Max Station. Nearly all Westbound trains will take you under the west hills to the Oregon Zoo Max Station. Do you like geology? History? Look around this is a fascinating place. There you will find a vertical chairlift-sans chair sometimes called an elevator which will bring you several hundred feet higher and closer to the mysterious place we call 3.0

[scene edited for privacy]

Historically there is a photo ban at 3.0. But regardless of the modern state of privacy there we LEAVE NO TRACE. This is a well cherished place of natural beauty. It is not improved by your cigarette butts, bottle caps or other leavings. The past 18 years of degenerate behavior has been made possible by our slovenly vigilance.

Together, we will coast 4-miles downhill to another Max station where we can do it again. Likely a different route, possibly in a silly costume. You did bring a silly costume, didn’t you? Its a fucking birthday party… In a pandemic. Try not to take yourself so seriously. Now show me that giant grin on your face, we are poised to ride again.

Every day we move a little closer to death. When we choose to take part in a thrilling and/or irreverent group activity we get to witness the value of our shared humanity. Plus jokes.

Wear a helmet! Wear a mask!
Socialize at a safe distance!
Bring lights! Bring a friend!
BYOB because sharing drinks is OVER!

* “bike” is debatable, but it should easily roll, steer and stop.
** “cheating death” is infrequently referred to as the “Tom Cruse Experience.” Feel free to hate that phrase all you like.
*** “making merry” may or may not include a Kelly Peach memorial dance party at the Elephant House. Sound systems and DJs feel free to reach out