Funny times in the saddle

[fredlf]

Ugh, with all the ugliness in the news lately I need a change of pace. So how about a thread where people can share some of the funny things that have happened on rides. I'll start with a story of how wit can serve you as well as legs.

I was taking part in a California century well known for its long, hard climbs. It was very early in the day and I was in a small group about half-way up the first 3,000 foot climb of the day. It was early morning and very quiet. All you could hear was rubber on he road, spinning drivetrains and the steady pant-pant-pant-pant of the climbers gasping for breath. Suddenly, there is a *pop* and a whoosh of air as someone flats. "Ow," I exclaim, "my lung!" This causes three people to crack up to the point where they can't keep up and have to drop off the back.

I'm pretty sure Lance used the same technique to drop Ulrich on the Alpe d'Huez.

[Attornatus_Oregonensis]

That's pretty funny. I can't top it, but I did have a weird one last week:

I'm headed home from work to Sellwood on the Springwater a little later than usual, around 7:30pm. I'm pedaling past where the rock statues are, just south of the Ross Island Bridge. There's no one around, so I've got it opened up. I'm all the way to the right and going about 25.

Out of nowhere - seriously, I never saw the thing - this red squirrel right at the edge of the pavement leaps two feet off the ground in an attempt to attack me (I think). I feel his little claws dig into my calf a little bit, but I'm going so fast that he just bounces right off. I look behind me, and he's rolling along the edge of the pavement. I stop, a good 50 yards away, and he stands up on his hind legs looking at me like, "WTF, dude?!" And I say aloud, to him, "Yeah, man, WTF was that?!"

[fredlf]

Man, I wish the squirrel pedestrian community would clean up its act. Too many bushy-tailed scofflaws out there!

[ME 2]

Like AO, I had an incident with a member of the animal community. I lived in Alexandria, VA and worked in DC from Aug 1998 through May 2000. My commute would take me past Regan National along a Forest Service rec trail right along the Potomac before I'd cross the bridge into DC.

Anyhow the section between the bridge to the north and the airport to the south was full of Canadian geese. After riding past them everyday for nearly a year I thought I had their behavior figured out. The geese would usually back down and yield the right of way to you.

However, one day I was riding home and saw a bunch of geese crossing the trail in a pack. The pack was staggered and I figured the last goose was going to stop and let me through, but it was determined to stick with pack. Not expecting this I ran its back side and was surprised to see its neck turn around almost bite me.

Another animal related incident that I had was in Northern Australia involving cane toads. I went on guided mountain bike night ride near Cairns. The cane toad was imported from Puerto Rico to control this bug that eats sugar crops. Only problem is that there is no predator species for cane toads in OZ so they are everywhere and they come out a night. My guide had little sympathy for them and led me right through and over 100s of them on our ride.

[lazlo]

I'm sure this wasn't funny for the woman it happened too, but it was for me. On the floating part of the Esplanade just south of the Steel Bridge, there are often people fishing. One day I was heading north when I see a guy hauling a carp out of the river. He's pulling it up over the deck just as a woman is coming down the ramp from the path, and she rides right into a wriggling carp at face level and lets out a good scream. It was an awesome spectacle. I'm always wary that one of those guys will suddenly cast and catch me with a hook.

[Richard Seton]

Originally Posted by ME 2

Like AO, I had an incident with a member of the animal community. I lived in Alexandria, VA and worked in DC from Aug 1998 through May 2000. My commute would take me past Regan National along a Forest Service rec trail right along the Potomac before I'd cross the bridge into DC.

Anyhow the section between the bridge to the north and the airport to the south was full of Canadian geese. After riding past them everyday for nearly a year I thought I had their behavior figured out. The geese would usually back down and yield the right of way to you.

However, one day I was riding home and saw a bunch of geese crossing the trail in a pack. The pack was staggered and I figured the last goose was going to stop and let me through, but it was determined to stick with pack. Not expecting this I ran its back side and was surprised to see its neck turn around almost bite me.

Another animal related incident that I had was in Northern Australia involving cane toads. I went on guided mountain bike night ride near Cairns. The cane toad was imported from Puerto Rico to control this bug that eats sugar crops. Only problem is that there is no predator species for cane toads in OZ so they are everywhere and they come out a night. My guide had little sympathy for them and led me right through and over 100s of them on our ride.

Cane toads are a real problem. Drivers go to great lengths to run over them at night. You could often see a car weaving across the roads - if it was quiet.

"That's my excuse officer, and I'm sticking to it"

[lazlo]

Another time I was riding on N. Willamette just south of Rosa Parks, along the bluff. In the morning, cats will hunt in the grass on the right of the street. I saw a black cat that I see every morning, usually just sitting there. One day, though, he decided to run across the street just as I was beside him. I thought for sure I was going to hit him as I braked, but just before he reached my front wheel he veered to his right and ran parallel to me. We looked at each other as this situation lasted about 20 feet or so, he waiting for an opening to cross, me hoping he wouldn't. Then he ran back to the right and disappeared into the grass. I stopped and looked back, but didn't see him again.

[fredlf]

This is a downside to low-spoke wheels and carbon forks I could not have predicted: http://velonews.com/article/77846/le...ical-questions

[beelnite]

Back in my wild days of riding in Seattle there was a particularly nasty stretch in Ballard as you cross under Aurora Ave/Hwy 99. I would typically jump onto the sidewalk to avoid being crushed. The sidewalk was adjacent to a McDonalds.

One fine morning I'm hitting it pretty good, perform my little hop but I was distracted by a vehicle roaring by me - and like an idiot I look - only to look back and here is a very large woman leaving the McD's from the side door and cruising down the walkway to the sidewalk.

She doesn't see me! I lock it up hard to avoid hitting her and as I am leaving the bicycle and going airborn our eyes meet. She's shocked, certainly.

I then do a perfect flip over this woman and land next to her on my feet while my ride careens into the nearby bushes.

She's just looking at me in disbelief - hand over her heart.

"Howdy ma'am... sorry about that!"

She was speechless so I grabbed my ride and continued on.

"Have a nice day! My bad!"

Not a scratch. I would love to have that on film.

[mizake]

Originally Posted by beelnite

Back in my wild days of riding in Seattle there was a particularly nasty stretch in Ballard as you cross under Aurora Ave/Hwy 99. I would typically jump onto the sidewalk to avoid being crushed. The sidewalk was adjacent to a McDonalds.

One fine morning I'm hitting it pretty good, perform my little hop but I was distracted by a vehicle roaring by me - and like an idiot I look - only to look back and here is a very large woman leaving the McD's from the side door and cruising down the walkway to the sidewalk.

She doesn't see me! I lock it up hard to avoid hitting her and as I am leaving the bicycle and going airborn our eyes meet. She's shocked, certainly.

I then do a perfect flip over this woman and land next to her on my feet while my ride careens into the nearby bushes.

She's just looking at me in disbelief - hand over her heart.

"Howdy ma'am... sorry about that!"

She was speechless so I grabbed my ride and continued on.

"Have a nice day! My bad!"

Not a scratch. I would love to have that on film.

The force is strong with this one.