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Newswire: Clydesdale Cyclocross Champion of the Universe Will Be Chosen in Bend

Posted by on November 25th, 2009 at 8:22 am

The Knights of the Cross Crusade Have Spoken

The Clydesdale Cyclocross Champion of the Universe Will Be Chosen in Bend, Oregon on December 12, 2009

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

November 24, 2009

Contact:
Brad Ross, Dungeon Master, Cyclocross Crusade, (503) 806-6943

(Portland, Oregon) – The Knights of the Cross Crusade have spoken, therefore let it be known that on the second Saturday of the twelfth month of the year 2009, a Clydesdale Cyclocross Champion of the Universe will be chosen in Bend, Oregon.

Cyclocross gladiators weighing 200 pounds (1.428 Contadors) or more, and Athenas, female gladiators weighing 160 pounds (1.142 Contadors), or more, are eligible to enter the ring of battle.

This quest for the first ever Universal Champion of big-boned cyclocross warriors is being heralded as the most prestigious honor ever bestowed in our cycling galaxy. The ceremony will commence at 8PM at the Deschutes Brewery Warehouse during the not-to-be-missed Giant Warehouse Party being hosted by Giant Bicycles and Deschutes Brewery, on the Saturday night of the 2009 USA Cycling Cyclocross National Championships.

By the power and creed of the Black Knight of the Cross Crusade, the rules of combat have been fortified: there will be no pit, costumes are encouraged, the Last Regiment of Syncopated Drummers will be on hand to add to the pomp, and no form of seriousness will be tolerated. Furthermore and heretofore, call-ups will be based on weight in descending order, with the heaviest racers starting first. All warriors will be weighed at registration. The first three finishers will be scored. All others will finish in the herd.

There will be a $15 entry fee that will cover your race fee and your first beer at the party immediately following the race. OBRA licenses will be required. One day OBRA licenses will be provided at no cost to racers who do not have an annual OBRA license.

The race course will be dimly lit and headlights and headlamps are highly recommended. Race duration will be 30 minutes and will take place on one-half of the National Championship Course.

Registration starts at 7:30PM at the Deschutes Brewery Warehouse. The party starts at 8PM. The race will start at 9PM.

In addition to being awarded with the first ever Champion of the Universe jersey, the crowned Clydesdale Champion will be showered with unspeakable riches, including a season pass to the Frite Cart at the 2010 Cyclocross Crusade.

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Comments
  • Anonymous November 25, 2009 at 9:07 am

    That means its OK this Thanksgiving if I “cat up”!

    Recommended Thumb up 0

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